Toilets famous quotes
Last updated: Sep 5, 2024
-
Well, I've thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don't know what I'd do.
-- Aaron Eckhart -
Trust me-that toilet and me were best friends for the first few days I was here.
-- Alexander Gordon Smith -
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
-- Andy Rooney -
I will go to the Opening of Anything, including a Toilet Seat
-- Andy Warhol -
Martin Luther dreamed up Protestantism while sitting on the toilet at Wittenburg monastery, and we know what a big movement that became.
-- Anton Szandor LaVey -
You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.
-- Art Donovan -
There's nothing special about losing your virginity over a toilet.
-- Becca Fitzpatrick -
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...
-- Bill Cosby -
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
-- Bill Cosby -
You spend your whole life trying to get known and then you spend the rest of it hiding in the toilet.
-- Bob Fosse -
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
-- Bob Monkhouse -
If a life goes down the toilet, it comes out in a river and meets the sea.
-- Carol Plum-Ucci -
You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.
-- Carolyn Heilbrun -
I always have my best thoughts on the toilet.
-- Charlie Day -
As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.
-- Dan Brown -
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper
-- Daphne Zuniga -
I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.
-- David Feherty -
I visited a new cultural center in Shanghai in 2005 that was pretty much perfect, except for the really badly translated Chinglish signs: a handicapped restroom that said Deformed Mans Toilet, that kind of thing.
-- David Henry Hwang -
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
-- David Sedaris -
... he trotted down the hallway on all fours and started in on his second favorite pastime, conversations with plumbing. Just what I needed: Stone, the Toilet Whisperer.
-- Devon Monk -
You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.
-- Don Van Vliet -
Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.
-- Eric Carr -
I loved being in Trainspotting and having to dive into the filthiest toilet in Scotland.
-- Ewan McGregor -
Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not.
-- Geoffrey Hill -
No one goes to the toilet in novels. You'd think none of us had bladders.
-- Germaine Greer -
Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.
-- Howard Stern -
Never thought I’d intentionally sleep on a bathromm floor next to a toilet while sober, but I meant it when I said I would sleep anywhere with her.
-- J.A. Redmerski -
I'd find it demeaning to be cleaning toilets.
-- Jack Kevorkian -
Don’t get married in a house where there is no toilet,
-- Jairam Ramesh -
Timmy, who made a daring escape, also made a mistake of paying the taxi driver with a check made out of toilet paper.
-- Janet Frame -
We once installed a $1.49 trap in a woman's toilet and she never had ghost problems again.
-- Jason Hawes -
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
-- Jay Leno -
My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.
-- Jessica Hahn -
If we all had what we wanted to eat... We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.
-- Jim Thompson -
I still have a fondness for books. Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over there? What is that, a candlestick telephone, one of those old pull-chain toilets? Oh no, it's a book. I used to help make those things! I will buy it and use it to decorate my chain of casual family-dining restaurants.
-- John Hodgman -
I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
-- John Swartzwelder -
I wouldn't go in a fast food outlet even to use the toilet.
-- Jonny Wilkinson -
You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.
-- Kami Garcia -
I tell myself that's what you get when you put thirty-one toilets on the most popular girl's front yard. People tend to treat you a little differently than before.
-- Kathryn Stockett -
Why do I continue making movies? Making movies is better than cleaning toilets.
-- Klaus Kinski -
I was a maid, so cleaning toilets wasn't my favorite thing, but honestly, standing outside all day in the cold was worse.
-- Kristin Bauer van Straten -
All through life there were distinctions - toilets for men, toilets for women; clothes for men, clothes for women - then, at the end, the graves are identical.
-- Leila Aboulela -
There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.
-- Margaret Atwood -
And it makes you wonder—how can a people incapable of selecting their own lightbulbs and toilets possess enough competence to vote for their own rulers and fill out complicated tax returns?
-- Mark Levin -
I never think about themes. I let the music create itself. I like it to be a potpourri of all kinds of sounds, all kinds of colors, something for everybody, from the farmer in Ireland to the lady who scrubs toilets in Harlem.
-- Michael Jackson -
An OBE is what you get if you clean the toilets well at King's Cross station.
-- Michael Winner -
The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out.
-- Neal Schon -
There comes a time in every man's life when he needs his own toilet.
-- Patrick Süskind -
The Australian backyard was once built for tradesmen and outdoor toilets. As suburbs spread, it became a playground and source of pride...
-- Pete Munro -
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
-- Peter Kay -
Time kept on and on like the cheapest toilet paper.
-- Porochista Khakpour -
There is nothing like scrubbing toilets for a living to make you question the choices you have made in life.
-- Raegan Butcher -
You act like getting pregnant is a disease you can catch from public toilets.
-- Rainbow Rowell -
If you can see the handwriting on the wall ... you're on the toilet.
-- Redd Foxx -
Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.
-- Rex Reed -
I must admit, the constant invasion of privacy was becoming a real concern. Ive been asked for autographs while Ive been doing laps in the pool and even in the toilet!
-- Rick Astley -
I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing...
-- Rick Riordan -
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.
-- Rob Delaney -
Snap judgments? I'd gotten over those about the time I was toilet trained. Swore off diapers and faith in the human experience all in one week.
-- Rob Thurman -
When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back
-- Robin Williams -
So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.
-- Sarah Dessen -
The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.
-- Seth Green -
I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used.
-- Stephen Shore -
When they took TV to Fiji they found that after 3 years nearly 12 girls out of 100 were over the toilet bowls with bulimia because they felt inferior.
-- Susie Orbach -
I quite enjoy fame, especially when you go to conventions in America where they treat you like a god with stretch limos and the whole fame thing, but then when you come back to Britain, you end up changing in a toilet in a theatre off West End and that's really good, because that is what it's about.
-- Sylvester McCoy -
There's no place like home. And there's no toilet like your own.
-- Taylor York -
She used my toothbrush to clean the toilet.
-- The Notorious B.I.G. -
New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature.
-- Thomas Jefferson -
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
-- Tommy Cooper -
It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
-- Uma Thurman -
I've found that it's actually more of a disability to be tall than short. I have no problem fitting into plane toilets etc, and the adaptations made for wheelchair users - such as the lowering of bank machines - work for me as well.
-- Warwick Davis -
Our forests are not for toilet paper. They are worth more standing than cut. That deserves to be defended, not only by native peoples but also by environmentalists.
-- Winona LaDuke -
I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
-- Woody Allen -
The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper.
-- Yasujiro Ozu -
Sexy, no alcoholic, but she drink like a toilet. Told her do me a favor and put your mouth on this faucet.
-- Young Jeezy -
If all you do is talk crap, I'll just flush the toilet.
-- Behdad Sami -
I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that's like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell.
-- David Reuben -
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
-- Dov Davidoff -
The opening for solid waste is very small [in the space ship]. It's not toilet-bowl size. And aim is critical. To be honest with you, you don't know where your ***** is pointing within a small circumference.
-- Mike Mullane -
These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper.
-- P. J. O'Rourke -
I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities - I'm proven to be good. I've still got 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years left.
-- Shaquille O'Neal -
Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.
-- Shaquille O'Neal -
Nobody should have to clean up what goes on around the base of most toilets.
-- T Cooper -
The humble latrine, or flush toilet, reduces disease by twice as much as just putting in clean water.
-- Rose George -
I wrote my first book in a toilet in a factory where I was a floor sweeper.
-- Geoff Thompson -
I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
-- John Swartzwelder
