Greg Behrendt famous quotes

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves
-- Greg Behrendt

#Moving #Men #Mountain

If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Dating #Guy #Needs

Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you
-- Greg Behrendt

#Heart #Giving #Guy

Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Baby #Stupid #Thinking

Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Mean #Outstanding

When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Deals

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Mistake #Moving #Way

You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Faith #Space #Dating

Beware of the word 'friend'. It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Sleep #Men #Cry

Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Dating #Guy #Busy

Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
-- Greg Behrendt

#Mean #Doubt #Trust Yourself

A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Dating #Giving #Guy

Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Missing #Remember #Broke Up

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with
-- Greg Behrendt

#Love #Life Is Hard #Enough

Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
-- Greg Behrendt

#Not Good Enough #Good Enough #Enough

If you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you'll find it begins to move on after a while.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Moving On #Pain #Moving

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
-- Greg Behrendt

#Girlfriend #Men #Needs

There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Insecure #Men #Dating

But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really into you: You’ll never see you staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You’ll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you’re calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You’ll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn’t have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You’ll be too busy being adored.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Hate #Phones #Guy

Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Cheating #Betrayal #Betrayal Of Trust

Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Moving On #Pain #Moving

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Cds #Shoes

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Cities #Arms

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Believe #Verbs #Nouns

I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Tired #Bullshit

The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Missing #Reason

The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Weapons #Facts

The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Getting Older #Eccentric #Getting Old

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Way #Astute #Observation

The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Sex #Hiding #Persons

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Ideas #People #Laughing

Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Hard Work #Ive Learned

If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Guy #Frustrated #Going Away

You are not easily forgotten.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Forgotten #Easily Forgotten

He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Needs

..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Love You #Missing #May

People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
-- Greg Behrendt

#People #Inspired #Remarkable

Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
-- Greg Behrendt

#Validation #Trying #Looks

I don't know" means "NO!" "I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation." "I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Hurt #Dirty #Mean

Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Wasting Time #Wasted Time #Persons

An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Rejection #Excuse

Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
-- Greg Behrendt

#Guy #Want #Forget

A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Names #Scared

Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Dating #Bored #Misery

A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Fire #Elephants

big plans require big action
-- Greg Behrendt

#Action #Bigs #Plans

But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
-- Greg Behrendt

#Vacation #People

Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Guy #Break #Without You

It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Guy #Want #Remember

Don't waste the pretty
-- Greg Behrendt

#Waste

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you
-- Greg Behrendt

#Truth #Dating #Rejection

You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
-- Greg Behrendt

#Needs

Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
-- Greg Behrendt

#Cheater

The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Breakup #Feel Better #About Yourself

...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Live Your Life #Gave Up #Persons

Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Butterfly #Giving #Feelings

Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges
-- Greg Behrendt

#Challenges #Rewards

Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Hurt #Broken #Ribs

Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Breakup #Hurt #Pain

Always be classy. Never be crazy.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Crazy #Being Crazy

Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Remember #Settling #Please

If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Men #Intimacy

Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
-- Greg Behrendt

#Should #Feels #Scrap

Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Jobs #Comedian #Looks

Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Jobs #Years #Good Relationship

Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust. Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. Some cheaters might give you an excuse, some might not have one at all, some might even blame you. No one can tell you exactly what to do when faced with this very complicated and painful situation. But the bottom line is, is this what you had hoped for in a relationship?
-- Greg Behrendt

#Cheating #Betrayal #Heart

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Beautiful #Long #Decision

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Ex Boyfriend #Guy #Together

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Long #Coats #Faces

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Book #Dating #Comedian

There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Real #Communication #Flirting

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Relationship #Asking #Likes

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Mean #People #Promise

There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Guy #Your Boyfriend #Want

Let's start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there's something better out there is to first believe there's something better out there. What other choice is there?
-- Greg Behrendt

#Sweet #Lonely #Hurt

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Hurt #Funny Thanksgiving #Turkeys

Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Dating #Priorities #Feelings

Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Heart #Cheater #People

Uncool is a cool resting place. The pressure's off me.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Pressure #Uncool

I'm fascinated with human relationships. I advocate the relationship you have with yourself.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Humans #Human Relations #Human Relationships

One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
-- Greg Behrendt

#Running #Believe #Men

Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Relationship #Men #Insulting

If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
-- Greg Behrendt

#Want