Frankie Boyle famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person (on Margaret Thatcher)
-- Frankie Boyle

#Hands #Scotland #Giving
Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
-- Frankie Boyle

#Play #Looks #Racist
We don't live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It's always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time consuming process of understanding them. We have given 'taking offense' a social status it doesn't deserve: it's not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Reality #People #Understanding
Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made theirÂ soldiersÂ feel sad.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Country #Years #America
Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Two #Scotland #Negative
I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Funny #Dad #Kids
They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Funny #Boys #Offering
It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Funny #Athlete #Mean
I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Sorry #Mean #Fighting
If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Teenage #Needs #Potters
I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Dad #School #Kids
I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen?
-- Frankie Boyle

#Father #Want #Markers
Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Gay #People #Political
Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Senior #Men #
Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Black And White #Thinking #America
Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Successful #Reality #Two
Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
-- Frankie Boyle

#Thinking #Weight #Blair

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