Bo Burnham famous quotes

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
-- Bo Burnham

#Intelligent #Thinking #People

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
-- Bo Burnham

#Funny #Guy #Dimes

When life gets you down, make a comforter!
-- Bo Burnham

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
-- Bo Burnham

#Heaven #Trying #Earth

I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
-- Bo Burnham

#Bored #Needs #Half

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
-- Bo Burnham

#Fun #Comedy #Enjoy

I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
-- Bo Burnham

#Thinking #Generosity #Support

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.
-- Bo Burnham

#Self Worth #Oneness #Existential

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
-- Bo Burnham

#College #Comedy #Going To College

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
-- Bo Burnham

#Funny #Comedy #Vote

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
-- Bo Burnham

#Jesus #Land #Water

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
-- Bo Burnham

#Funny #Fifteen #Pennies

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
-- Bo Burnham

#Funny #Beautiful #Distance

What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
-- Bo Burnham

#Real #Guy #Important

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
-- Bo Burnham

#Creative #Guy #Pirate

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.
-- Bo Burnham

#Kids #Names #Arms

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
-- Bo Burnham

#Deer #Saws #Necks

When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
-- Bo Burnham

#Funny #Comedy #Puberty

I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
-- Bo Burnham

#Hate #Thinking #Reality

There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind.
-- Bo Burnham

#Mind #Lines #Certain

At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time.
-- Bo Burnham

#Facts #Hiccups #Apes

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It's like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
-- Bo Burnham

#Song #Art #Self

I just like to write and then perform.
-- Bo Burnham

#Writing

Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
-- Bo Burnham

#Theory

I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
-- Bo Burnham

#Men #Thinking #Cereal

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
-- Bo Burnham

#Ideas #Listening #Audience

I always wanted to be a comedian and actor, [...] I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
-- Bo Burnham

#Thinking #Comedian #Actors

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
-- Bo Burnham

#Thinking #Way #Clubs

At the time of 'Words, Words, Words,' I'm a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he's entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that's inherently a little bit ridiculous.
-- Bo Burnham

#Thinking #Years #Feelings

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
-- Bo Burnham

#Dream #College #Eight

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
-- Bo Burnham

#Love You #Perfect #Trying

Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
-- Bo Burnham

#Hoe #Feminist

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
-- Bo Burnham

#Levels #Comedy #Unexpected

I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
-- Bo Burnham

#Simple #Trying #Stuff

I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'
-- Bo Burnham

#Annoying #Sociopath

When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
-- Bo Burnham

#Men #Thinking #Theatre

I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It's like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, 'I think you try too hard in your comedy.' And that's what I worry about.
-- Bo Burnham

#Thinking #Worry #People

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
-- Bo Burnham

#Math #People #Musical

The average person has one Fallopian tube.
-- Bo Burnham

#Average #Average Person #Persons