Jack Paar famous quotes

04-12-2025

Looking back, my life seems like one long obstacle race, with me as the chief obstacle.
-- Jack Paar

#Race #Long #Obstacles
Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.
-- Jack Paar

#Immigration #Flattery #Form
I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.
-- Jack Paar

#Mind #Television #Program
Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #Nice #California
The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #Real #Breathing
It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #California #Hollywood
We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #Fire #California
Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #Hurt #Fall
... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca.
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #Two #California
It's almost impossible to dislike me, because I do nothing.
-- Jack Paar

#Impossible #Dislike
Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.
-- Jack Paar

#Funny #Book #Son
Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.
-- Jack Paar

#God #Humorous #Imagination
Doing the show was like painting the George Washington Bridge. As soon as you finished one end, you started right in on the other.
-- Jack Paar

#Bridges #Painting #Ends
Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.
-- Jack Paar

#Fun #Vaccines #People
Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than those you ask into your living room. I kid you not!
-- Jack Paar

#Kids #People #Interesting
To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.
-- Jack Paar

#Reality #Thinking #Should
She should get a divorce and settle down.
-- Jack Paar

#Sarcastic #Divorce #Settling
I'm complicated, sentimental, lovable, honest, loyal, decent, generous, likable, and lonely. My personality is not split; it's shredded.
-- Jack Paar

#Lonely #Personality #Loyal

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