Don Rickles famous quotes

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
-- Don Rickles

#Thinking #Doctors #Rooms

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
-- Don Rickles

#Funny #Clothes #Wonder

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.
-- Don Rickles

#Phones #Who Cares #Dummy

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.
-- Don Rickles

#Hurt #Fun #Insecurity

Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.
-- Don Rickles

#Struggle #Tunnels #Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.
-- Don Rickles

#Night #Thinking #People

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.
-- Don Rickles

#People #Singing #Opera

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
-- Don Rickles

#Different #Lasts #Stand Alone

The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.
-- Don Rickles

#Sky #Rooms #Transformation

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.
-- Don Rickles

#Book #Writing #Tired

You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.
-- Don Rickles

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.
-- Don Rickles

#Kids #Controversial #Provocative

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.
-- Don Rickles

#Great Day

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
-- Don Rickles

#Situation #Jokes

It takes many years to be a great comedian.
-- Don Rickles

#Years #Comedian

Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.
-- Don Rickles

#Actors #Wells #Wanted

My whole act is off the top of my head.
-- Don Rickles

Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.
-- Don Rickles

#Sex #Tired #Age

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
-- Don Rickles

#Shy #Shyness #Outgoing

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
-- Don Rickles

#Music #Kissing #Mind

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
-- Don Rickles

#Trying #Bars #Empires

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
-- Don Rickles

#Funny Things #People

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.
-- Don Rickles

#Attitude #Humor #Personality

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.
-- Don Rickles

#Careers #People #Done

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.
-- Don Rickles

#Fun #Authority #Situation

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
-- Don Rickles

#Guy #Comedian #Trying

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.
-- Don Rickles

#Fun #Kids #Guy

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
-- Don Rickles

#Political #Political Correctness

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
-- Don Rickles

#Ideas #Giving #Toasts

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
-- Don Rickles

#Attitude

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.
-- Don Rickles

#Dog #Couple #Car

I never went out looking for glory.
-- Don Rickles

#Glory

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
-- Don Rickles

#Gym #Jokes