Humor famous quotes
Last updated: Sep 5, 2024
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You can teach taste, editorial sense, but the ability to say something funny is something I've never been able to teach anyone.
-- Abe Burrows -
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important to know that we are on God's side.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
Avoid popularity if you would have peace.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
-- Agnes Repplier -
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
-- Agnes Repplier -
Humor hardens the heart, at least to the point of sanity ...
-- Agnes Repplier -
The essence of humor is that it should be unexpected, that it should embody an element of surprise, that it should startle us out of that reasonable gravity which, after all, must be our habitual frame of mind.
-- Agnes Repplier -
Wit is artificial; humor is natural. Wit is accidental; humor is inevitable. Wit is born of conscious effort; humor, of the allotted ironies of fate. Wit can be expressed only in language; humor can be developed sufficiently in situation.
-- Agnes Repplier -
Humor, in one form or another, is characteristic of every nation; and reflecting the salient points of social and national life, it illuminates those crowded corners which history leaves obscure.
-- Agnes Repplier -
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
-- Agnes Varda -
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer.
-- Agnes Varda -
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.
-- Alan Moore -
There are psychological repercussions to illness and we need a little more help to get through the effects not only on the afflicted but on the family. And I think there's even a place for humor in that.
-- Alan Thicke -
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
-- Alan Watts -
The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present.
-- Alan Watts -
Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes.
-- Alan Watts -
For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.
-- Albert Camus -
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
-- Alfred Adler -
How fatally the entire want of humor cripples the mind.
-- Alice James -
A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.
-- Allen Klein -
Humor can help you cope with the unbearable so that you can stay on the bright side of things until the bright side actually comes along.
-- Allen Klein -
Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger.
-- Allen Klein -
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
-- Allen Klein -
Laughter, and the broader category of humor, are key elements in helping us go on with our life after a loss.
-- Allen Klein -
When we are dealing with death we are constantly being dragged down by the event: Humor diverts our attention and lifts our sagging spirits.
-- Allen Klein -
Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product.
-- Allen Klein -
Our bravest and best lessons are not learned through success, but through misadventure.
-- Amos Bronson Alcott -
To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.
-- Andre Maurois -
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.
-- Angela Davis -
I'm not really big on slapstick humor. I like gentle humor.
-- Anjelica Huston -
It is the saying of an ancient sage that humor was the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor.
-- Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury -
Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.
-- Aristotle -
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
-- Aristotle -
Why are men impersonating women funny while women impersonating men are not? It is a matter of gravity. A heavy thing trying to become lighter is automatically funnier than a light thing trying to become heavy.
-- Arlene Croce -
People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even
-- Art Buchwald -
The president of General Motors was in a foul humor.
-- Arthur Hailey -
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
-- Arthur Miller -
The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer -
The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live.
-- Ayn Rand -
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.
-- Ayn Rand -
When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.
-- Ayn Rand -
The hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody had decided not to see.
-- Ayn Rand -
Old florists never die. They just make other arrangements.
-- Barbara Johnson -
A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better.
-- Barbara Walters -
A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have.
-- Barry Goldwater -
I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.
-- Ben Stiller -
Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones.
-- Benjamin Disraeli -
What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.
-- Bernard Williams -
One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
-- Bertrand Russell -
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
-- Bill Cosby -
Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at misery.
-- Bill Mauldin -
Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.
-- Bill Nye -
A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable.
-- Billy Graham -
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
-- Bob Hope -
I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.
-- Bob Newhart -
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.
-- Bob Parsons -
In good times, people want to advertise; in bad times, they have to.
-- Bruce Barton -
One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.
-- Bruce Lee -
Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.
-- Carl Hiaasen -
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
-- Carl Jung -
Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience.
-- Carl Reiner -
When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it's always "a big breakthrough" or a "radical departure." Why is is no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy? Are they presuming comedy is easier?
-- Carol Burnett -
musicians rarely have a sense of humour, at least, about themselves.
-- Carolyn Wells -
Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward.
-- Cary Grant -
It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
-- Cassandra Clare -
I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?
-- Cassandra Clare -
That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year." "Why?" Isabelle said. "So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.
-- Cassandra Clare -
Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace. "It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath." "As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon. "I knew we should have left you a rat.
-- Cassandra Clare -
Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.
-- Cassandra Clare -
I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.
-- Cassandra Clare -
A woman has to be intelligent, have charm, a sense of humor, and be kind. It's the same qualities I require from a man.
-- Catherine Deneuve -
Cathy was the first widely syndicated humor strip created by a woman. The strip was pretty revolutionary at the time not only because it starred a female, but also because it was so emotionally honest about all the conflicting feelings many women had in 1976.
-- Cathy Guisewite -
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
-- Charles Bukowski -
Great use they have, when in the hands Of one like me, who understands, Who understands the time and place, The person, manner, and the grace, Which fools neglect; so that we find, If all the requisites are join'd, From whence a perfect joke must spring, A joke's a very serious thing.
-- Charles Churchill -
It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.
-- Charles Dickens -
If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
-- Charles M. Schulz -
Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery
-- Charles Simmons -
I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.
-- Charlie Chaplin -
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
-- Chris Rock -
Humor is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite.
-- Christian Morgenstern -
Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to the situation that has value. All the meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon, what it means to you.
-- Christopher McCandless -
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.
-- Christopher Morley -
Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention.
-- Christopher Paolini
