Ted Alexandro famous quotes

03-24-2025

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Thinking #Wife #Lax
I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Let Me #Wells #Gym
I have a lot of friends who are getting married. I try to avoid talking to them about their sex lives now 'cause it's so depressing. One guy told me it had been six months since he had gotten to second base with his wife. Yeah, I don't know which one was more pathetic: that he used the phrase 'second base' or that he hadn't been there in six months?
-- Ted Alexandro

#Depressing #Sex #Talking
Some people say homosexuality is a sin. Itâ€™s not. God is perfectly cool with it, God feels the exact same way about homosexuality that God feels about heterosexuality. Now you might say, â€˜Whoa, slow down. You move too fast. How could you have the audacity, the temerity, to speak on behalf of God?â€™ Exactly, thatâ€™s an excellent point and I pray that you remember it.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Moving #People #Audacity
You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Tomorrow #Chin Up #Shots
I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Funny #Guy #Hey
I'm just looking for a little mystery in life... like things you can't explain. Like, you go to Mexico, they tell you don't drink the water. You go to any diner here, who brings you the water? It's a mystery.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Funny #Water #Mexico
Sometimes it's fun to explore ideas that might make people uncomfortable. If you let it, there's a lot of self-censoring that can go on in the name of remaining likeable, but I don't find that an artistically interesting path to take.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Fun #Names #Ideas
I learned so many things from Louis C.K., but the most impactful thing was witnessing his work ethic. He works harder than anyone I've ever been around in comedy. And he takes risks and doesn't dwell on what might be perceived as failures.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Hard Work #Work Ethic #Risk
Chris Rock went from a guy whose name you knew from SNL to a legendary comedian by working his ass off.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Rocks #Names #Guy
Dave Chappelle is about as gifted as it gets, as a performer and comedian. [...] It's always great to watch him work. He started around fourteen and he's in his forties now, so he's probably been doing it for close to thirty years. He's brilliant.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Years #Comedian #Watches
Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it on stage in a communal setting. It's very primal and ritualistic in that sense.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Acceptance #Talking #Lenses
Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Acceptance #Mourning #Celebration
The blues is a hopeful music. It helps you process something rather than avoid it. It's like mourning, in essence.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Essence #Hopeful #Mourning
I think comedy is no different now than it was at other points. It takes a long time to get good and know how to distill what makes you funny beyond the realm of standup, which is what I'm trying to do with 'Teachers Lounge.'
-- Ted Alexandro

#Teacher #Thinking #Long
Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Teacher #Night #Play
It always comes down to what the crowd buys coming out of your mouth, which differs from one comic to the next.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Mouths #Crowds #Next
Louis CK went from a writer/comedian to winning Emmys for his own show because he works his ass off.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Winning #Comedian #Ass
Hard work is a muscle that you develop, as is taking risks.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Hard Work #Risk #Muscles
In terms of my own work ethic, I've always been a determined person. When I'm focused on something, I try to see it through.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Work Ethic #Trying #Ethics
Opening for Louis C.K. during his "Hilarious" tour was a great experience for me. He is the generation just ahead of me, because he started so young.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Generations #Great Experiences #Young
Like once we picked Jim Norton as the head of security, the writing flows pretty easily.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Writing #Flow #Security
That heightened dynamic can produce interesting, funny ideas that are phrased in ways that surprise even you, as the performer.
-- Ted Alexandro

#Ideas #Interesting #Way

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