Janeane Garofalo famous quotes

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Confidence #Courage #Funny Inspirational

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Funny #Sarcastic #Dark

There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#America #Way #Administration

This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Betrayal #Legacy #Dresses

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Insulting #Flags #American Flag

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Being Yourself #Inspire #Individuality

... being a feminist means that you believe in civil rights and social justice.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Believe #Mean #Rights

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Would Be #World #Communist

The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Skins #Term

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Running #Negative #Naked

The media is supposed to be custodians of the facts and watchdogs of government. They have, for the most part, neglected to be either of those things.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Government #Media #Custodians

I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Hate #Frustration #Self

You can tell a lot about a person by how excited they are to do the Macarena.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Excited #Persons

To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against the corporation. Right-wingers hate that.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Hate #Awful #Unions

It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Feelings #Feeling Bad

Yes, I think lots of people are eager to obtain weapons of mass destruction. But there's no evidence that he (Hussein) has weapons of mass destruction. There's been no evidence of him testing nuclear weapons. We have people that are in our face with nuclear weapons. We've got Iran and North Korea. We've got a problem with Pakistan. You know, I don't know what to say about that. There's a whole lot of people that are going nuclear. And I think that Saddam Hussein is actually, with the evidence, the least able to use nuclear weapons and the least obvious offender in that area at this moment.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Thinking #Iran #Korea

It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Jobs #Years #Lucky

Anthony Weiner deserves to be supported and hopefully he will be mayor of New York one day. I'm serious. He is a Democrat [who] actually fights for the things liberals and progressive and rational people care about. I don't know why he's being thrown under the bus. He hasn't done any - he hasn't broke any laws,
-- Janeane Garofalo

#New York #Fighting #Law

Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Thinking #Ideas #Talking

When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Real #Work Out #Guy

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Dog #My Dog

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Men #Quirky #Age

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Iraq #Sake #Dominance

If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Nice #Reputation #Outspoken

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#People #Enjoy

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Realizing

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Notebook #Writing #Strikes

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Boys #Years #People

To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Kind #Social #Combat

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Media #Wings #Trying

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Loneliness #Next #Being Lonely

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Idiot

I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Real #Work Ethic #Ethics

I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Wings #Enemy #Ideologues

I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Ashamed #Cooks

I'm not a disciplined writer.
-- Janeane Garofalo

I'm grateful for any opportunity to act.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Grateful #Opportunity

I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Thinking #Feelings #Too Much

I'm a sucker for any guy with an accent with any kind.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Guy #Kind #Accents

I would say just in general, in life, I'm more willing to be animated as a person, and so obviously onstage as well.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Animated #Wells #Willing

I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Situation #Wells

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Different #World #Hussein

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Hate #Party #Men

Herman Cain is probably well-liked by some of the Republicans because it hides the racist elements of the Republican Party, conservative movement and tea party movement. People like Karl Rove like to keep the racism very covert and so Herman Cain provides this great opportunity so he can say, 'Look: This is not a racist anti-immigrant, anti-female, anti-gay movement. Look: We have a black man.' And look he's polling well and he won a straw poll.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Party #Gay #Opportunity

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Dark #Sides #Dark Side

I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Girl #Fashion #Hate

As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Responsibility #Actors #Television

We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Real #Vegas #Years

You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Doe #Botox #Conservative

We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Men #Enemy #Blame

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Phones #Drunk #Advice

Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it's important to reach out to others.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Crush #Important #Labels

Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Vacation #Years #Car

There is no blacklist. In the first place, in the entertainment business, money talks, bullshit walks. So Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins won't be blacklisted because they are bankable stars. In the second place, if you are a woman, the only things you're going to be blacklisted for in Hollywood are body fat and aging.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Stars #Bullshit #Hollywood

It is not crazy to think that powerful people do some pretty horrible things. And maybe they get out of hand. Maybe it just gets away from them. It snowballs.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Powerful #Crazy #Thinking

There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together'.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Mean #Together #Breathe

because we don't have a Fairness Doctrine, and because we have further media consolidation, and because we have a craptastic corporate media, WE DON'T HAVE NEWS! We don't have an informed populous and we don't have a democracy... Everyone in the world knows that America, (in its current state, because of right-wingers) that the right wing arm of this country (that speaks for this country unfortunately) has no credibility when it comes to human rights or independent media.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Country #Independent #Rights

No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Prophet

But let me ask you this though, first and foremost: who's your favorite Spice Girl? Mine is Sporty Spice and I'll tell you why. You know what? She might not be as aesthetically pleasant as the rest but she'll do a backflip and steal your heart.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Girl #Heart #Spices

I think that by staying out of shape at the age of 33 I'm doing myself a huge favor for my future. There will never be anyone commenting on how I've 'let myself go.' I've gone. It's gone. It's not going, it's GONE.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Thinking #Age #Gone

[Conservative talk radio hosts] have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Christian #War #Gun

I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Long #Forever #Entertainment

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Years #Skins #Mature

I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Broken Heart #Heart #Broken

Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Environmental #Birth Control #Unions

Many people feel that mass acceptance and smooth socialization are desirable life paths for a young adult… Many people are often wrong… Don’t bother being nice. Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public’s regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Nice #Acceptance #People

TV, it's a director's medium, and they wanna make it look interesting. To be rehearsing mostly for the sake of where you're standing so they can do the lighting, that's what I don't like.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Interesting #Tvs #Directors

I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Opposites #Friendly #Want

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Jobs #Thinking #Nervous

German accents and Hassidic accents aren't that romantic. They're more harsh. Although Hebrew, when spoken by certain people, sounds beautiful. There's this beautiful woman I know who speaks Hebrew, and when she speaks, it's so attractive. Maybe it's who's speaking it.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Beautiful #People #Sound

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Class #People #Rooms

You just need an opportunity and then you yourself have to do a good job, and then you hope that people go, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about her.'
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Jobs #Opportunity #People

You can't have cinema by committee if you're trying to do it well.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Trying #Cinema #Committees

Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Cities #Faces #Fey

How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Patriotism #Debate #Twisted

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Sassy #Blood #Water

The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Views #Media #Corporations

Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are in the collective conscious and unconscious, the Republicans will have some votes.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Hate #Ignorance #Wings

You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Stupid #Anchors #Numbers

There's always [on women's magazines] that great photo of the actress or model lifting up her shirt just to show you the bone structure and the six-pack of her own. It's almost like when horses are auctioned and they show you their teeth. 'Am I good enough?'
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Horse #Six Packs #Actresses

Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Sorry #Hands #Littles

Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins...and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Eye #Eating Disorder #Flags

I think we all remember where we were when Rush Hour hit the water. That was an important day.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Thinking #Water #Important

People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don`t want to have children.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Children #Selfish #Thinking

I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Waiting #Next #Amish

My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.
-- Janeane Garofalo

#Dream #New York #Would Be