Jo Brand famous quotes

I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually people should be encouraging fat people who are exercising to do it, not pointing and laughing.
-- Jo Brand

#Exercise #Swimming #Laughing

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.
-- Jo Brand

#Males #Female #Social

When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts.
-- Jo Brand

#School #Facts #General Education

When you have children, your house smells very unpleasant all the time.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #Smell #House

When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
-- Jo Brand

#Nurse #Stills

British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches.
-- Jo Brand

#Animal #England #Fans

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
-- Jo Brand

#Ex Boyfriend #Funny Relationship #Night

I did try when I wasn't doing the singing to do as much comedy as I could because I thought with Comic Relief you are duty bound to anyway.
-- Jo Brand

#Singing #Trying #Relief

My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
-- Jo Brand

#Fun #Swimming #Sea

Jeremy Clarkson is rather charming, but I can't stomach his public persona. I don't like his casual racism and casual misogyny.
-- Jo Brand

#Racism #Charming #Stomach

Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
-- Jo Brand

#Faces #Runners

I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh.
-- Jo Brand

#Years #Laughing #Trying

I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as many ways as I can - if all else fails - I tell 'em a joke!
-- Jo Brand

#Cheer #Thinking #People

I wouldn't say I was organised at all. I just have to prioritise. Is it more important for them to be organised, or to have their dinner, do you know what I mean?
-- Jo Brand

#Mean #Important #Dinner

If you want to get a pet for your child, I suggest a chicken so that when they get bored of it after a couple of days at least you can have a nice roast dinner.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #Couple #Nice

My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
-- Jo Brand

#Exercise #Doctors #Smoking

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #People #Effort

People can forgive each other.
-- Jo Brand

#People #Forgiving

I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.
-- Jo Brand

#Jesus #Thinking #Blokes

I've never been a fan of euphemism.
-- Jo Brand

#Fans #Euphemism

It wasn't a conscious effort to have kids later. It was just the way life goes.
-- Jo Brand

#Kids #Effort #Way

Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy.
-- Jo Brand

#Comedy #Madness

When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
-- Jo Brand

#Nasty

And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
-- Jo Brand

#Nurse #Abuse #Audience

School was great. There were no boys there, which didn't really bother me at the time because I had two brothers, so I was quite pleased not to spend any more time with boys.
-- Jo Brand

#Brother #School #Boys

So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #Nice #Two

So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning.
-- Jo Brand

#Smile #Expression #Years

Some men are deeply likable but have attitudes I don't like. Does that mean I should completely dismiss them? It's like saying: if someone votes Tory can you like them? And, yes, I can. I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways. We have a tendency to oversimplify things.
-- Jo Brand

#Attitude #Mean #Men

With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #Shopping #Two

Wild men are so enormously attractive.
-- Jo Brand

#Men #Attractive

What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
-- Jo Brand

#Running #Trying #Marathon

To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.
-- Jo Brand

#Jobs #Trying #Problem

There's lots of different feminist groups. It's not as straightforward as just looking like a plumber.
-- Jo Brand

#Feminist #Groups #Different

There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.
-- Jo Brand

#Believe #Thinking #People

Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.
-- Jo Brand

#People #Labels #Behave

No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #Thinking #Rude

My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
-- Jo Brand

#Children #Feelings #Taught

My dad's a very sensitive man, but as the archetypal rebellious teenager, I didn't realise that.
-- Jo Brand

#Dad #Teenager #Men

I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
-- Jo Brand

#Real #Maids

I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
-- Jo Brand

#Thinking #Done #Stuff

I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.
-- Jo Brand

#Believe #Brain

Each generation has a backlash against the generation before.
-- Jo Brand

#Generations #Backlash

Even nice things don't make you happy when you're tired.
-- Jo Brand

#Nice #Tired #Make You Happy

Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
-- Jo Brand

#Girl #Nice #Important

Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did.
-- Jo Brand

#Stars #Thinking #Comedy

Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
-- Jo Brand

#Christian #Mean #Self

Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky.
-- Jo Brand

#Dark #Night #Sound

Having children is fab. They keep me young and make me get up in the morning.
-- Jo Brand

#Morning #Children #Young

How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
-- Jo Brand

#Mouths #Intimate #Lashes

Does anyone really go into nursing intending to be apathetic, cold and removed from suffering? I find that very difficult to believe.
-- Jo Brand

#Believe #Nursing #Suffering

A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.
-- Jo Brand

#Teenage #Believe #Years

People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up.
-- Jo Brand

#Reality #People #Different

When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.
-- Jo Brand

#People #Looks #Cry