Jim Norton famous quotes

50 minutes ago

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
-- Jim Norton

#Rooms #Dining #May
I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
-- Jim Norton

#People #Want #Embarrassed
The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And thatâ€™s probably why theyâ€™re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.
-- Jim Norton

#People #Darkness #Needs
People are too worried a lot of times what other people in the audience are going to think about them, so they like to feign offense so other people don't think that they're inappropriate for laughing at something.
-- Jim Norton

#Thinking #People #Laughing
People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.
-- Jim Norton

#Selfish #People #Faults
People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.
-- Jim Norton

#Thinking #People #Laughing
When it comes to stand-up, people feel this need to voice their objection through groaning or being offended. It's really irritating... I mean I love what I do, but that's the irritating side of it.
-- Jim Norton

#Mean #Voice #People
People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.
-- Jim Norton

#People #Mind #Negative
My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and what I hate about myself and what I love about myself and to make you laugh while I'm doing it.
-- Jim Norton

#Country #Jobs #Hate
I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
-- Jim Norton

#Boston #Cleveland #Four
Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.
-- Jim Norton

#Art #Thinking #Museums
Apologies; our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, â€œI'm sorry.â€ It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
-- Jim Norton

#Sorry #Apology #Dark
The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.
-- Jim Norton

#Needs #Pits #Deeper
You really are a badass, edgy guy who tells it like it is...about couscous.
-- Jim Norton

#Badass #Guy
Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.
-- Jim Norton

#Looks #Chef #Homeless
You look like a diabetic strip club owner.
-- Jim Norton

#Looks #Clubs #Owners
What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
-- Jim Norton

#Funny #Horse #Names
I appreciate that the New York Daily News will show dead bodies but blur the cover of a French parody magazine. Just out of respect, right guys?
-- Jim Norton

#New York #Appreciate #Guy
From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have.
-- Jim Norton

#Real #Penn State #Helping
What a shock that a guy who makes $2 million a week behaves exactly like I would with $2 million a week. As far as Iâ€™m concerned, if you make $2 million a week and you donâ€™t have a hooker in your hotel room, youâ€™re creepy and I donâ€™t trust you. And I donâ€™t do drugs at all, so for me it would just be more prostitutes. Thatâ€™s how they would find me. I would be dead on the floor, flattened by a pile of prostitutes. Iâ€™d look like a cat in a hoardersâ€™ house.
-- Jim Norton

#Cat #Guy #House
It just seems like right now weâ€™re in a place where people are being witch-hunted for expressing an opinion. Even if itâ€™s a lousy opinion or a shitty opinion, and comics I donâ€™t think can ever fall into the trap of any groups that want to censor what a person says or thinks or punish a person for expressing what they think. Anything you say about a social issue is going to offend half the country. I donâ€™t care how nicely you say it, I donâ€™t care how well you construct the joke, simply by stating the opinion, you are for something and anti something else.
-- Jim Norton

#Country #Fall #Thinking
The only time the press doesnâ€™t sensationalize information is when one of their own is kidnapped. Interesting how they show restraint then.
-- Jim Norton

#Interesting #Information #Restraint
God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
-- Jim Norton

#Kids #Night #Funny Marriage

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