Kathy Griffin famous quotes

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Fashion #Fun #Silly

I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't ever say anything bad about the group I'm in, cause every group is untouchable.' We can all criticize each other and engage in debate all we want.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Say Anything #Climate #Groups

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Judging #Listening #Ears

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Kids #Names #Apples

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Funny #Witty #Waking

I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.
-- Kathy Griffin

#People #Desire #Lists

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Bombs #Stuff

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Hero #Reality #Moles

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
-- Kathy Griffin

#People

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Talking #Challenges #Fame

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Vices #Drink

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Remember #Breakdown

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Thinking #Montreal

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Gossip #Care #Wells

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Regret #Mouths #I Regret

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!
-- Kathy Griffin

#Real #Mistake #Apology

Most people unfamiliar with the men in a new town might search for love until they find it. I picked out some guy on my second day in LA, who worked at the local bicycle shop, and handed my virginity to him. “You can fill a tire? Sounds good to me. Let's call it a date.” Needless to say he wasn't Mr. Right.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Men #Mr Right #People

Why would you want to keep the bluebird houses mounted in a place that you now know is unsafe for them? Bluebirds are not ornaments for pictures, they are living things that deserve your best effort if you are going to be a landlord to them. There is no magic spell that will protect those bluebirds--they have to depend on you or they are doomed.
-- Kathy Griffin

#House #Effort #Magic

Phoenix is great. I love Phoenix, .. I love Scottsdale. I love the James Hotel. I have a Kathy Griffin suite. I love -what's that place called? AZ 88. I had never had a cheese crisp, so I went to - oh, can't remember. We went to the State Fair, where I was all about the deep-fried Twinkie. I ate every deep-fried thing - oh, it was heavenly. I ate until I got sick.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Phoenix #Sick #Cheese

I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Believe #Lists #Moments

No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much?
-- Kathy Griffin

#Letting Go #Suicide #Teach

If there is a gay army, I am their warrior princess.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Princess #Warrior #Gay

I'm basically always on tour.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Journey

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Moving #Character #Reality

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Sexy #Men #People

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
-- Kathy Griffin

#America #Railroads #Vanderbilt

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Islands #Temptation

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Thinking #Would Be #Survivor

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Comedian #Remember #Folks

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Men #Middle #Middle Aged

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.
-- Kathy Griffin

#People #Lists

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Regret #I Regret

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Book #Reading #Comedian

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be...ahm....voluptuous!
-- Kathy Griffin

#Body #Want #Were Meant To Be

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.
-- Kathy Griffin

To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Jobs #Giving Up #Comedy

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Special #Biographies #Comedy

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!
-- Kathy Griffin

#Central Park #Houston #Parks

I'm saying that she (Whitney Houston) looks great for a singer......the way Courtney Love is a singer.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Love Is #Looks #Houston

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Writing #Love Is #Views

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Party #Thinking #Who I Am

Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Real #Wells

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Lists #Worst

That's life when you're on the D-list.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Lists

Always and Forever is a Grandmothers love
-- Kathy Griffin

#Grandmother #Forever #Always And Forever

When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!
-- Kathy Griffin

#I Love You #Kissing #I Smile

I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Color #Female #Want

I love to work. I love doing standup.
-- Kathy Griffin

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Night #Profound #Late Night

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Cancer #Apologizing #Chemotherapy

I have a no-apology policy.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Apology #Policy

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Tvs #Periods

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Want #Gigs #Months

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Kids #Want #Apologizing

I am in love with Larry David.
-- Kathy Griffin

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Friday #Night #Different

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Limits #Wonder #Should

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Stars #Humor #Sense Of Humor

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Fun #Class #Filters

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Artist #Laughing #People

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
-- Kathy Griffin

#House #Cameras #Months

I am what you call a non-believer. I don't even want to say I'm an atheist because frankly I don't want to join their club either. But the point is, I am a fallen catholic, I'm not religious, and that's all well and good.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Religious #Atheist #Catholic

Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Crazy #Sweat #Two

I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Soccer #Cheerleading #Team

When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Girl #Football #Party

Life is adventure. Travel is adventure at a different address.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Adventure #Different #Addresses

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
-- Kathy Griffin

#People #Manners #Raised

Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it's a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Baby #Thinking #Pay

I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Party #Littles #Matter

I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Thinking #Doe #Different

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Hate #Writing #Style

I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Night #Cities #Chicago

The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Teenager #Stupid #Real

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Regret #Helping #I Regret

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.
-- Kathy Griffin

#Jobs #Anger #Behaviour