Karl Pilkington famous quotes

I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Believe #Games #Pyramids

There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Mad #Done

We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Iron #Age #Stones

I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Giving

I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering about 'why are we here?' The only time I ever asked meself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Holiday #Years #People

There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Thinking #Reassuring

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Home #Yesterday #Challenges

A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Perfect #Vision #Committees

Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
-- Karl Pilkington

#Ladders #Evolution #Giraffe

I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, "I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be", then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, "I shouldn't be here!"
-- Karl Pilkington

#Thinking #Knowing #Would Be

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
-- Karl Pilkington

#People #Too Much #Sometimes

It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Easier

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Tattoo #Wife #Cafes

I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Art #Eye #Bored

A problem solved is a problem caused.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Problem

I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Funny #Mouths #Stuff

You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Men #Angry

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Ocean #Simple #Sea

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Thinking #People #Age

It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Would Be #Spiteful #Jellyfish

It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Annoyed #Want #What You Want

I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
-- Karl Pilkington

#People #Looks #Mime

Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Safe #Green #Woods

It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey
-- Karl Pilkington

#Monkeys #Publication

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Brain #Doe

It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating
-- Karl Pilkington

#Dying #Pandas #Sitting

We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever get to a point where all this is too heavy for the world to handle?
-- Karl Pilkington

#World #Stuff #Boat

I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Views #Caves #Palaces

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse
-- Karl Pilkington

#Ducks #Arses #Kicks

I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.
-- Karl Pilkington

#Wall #Might #Facts

We're just a weed in the universe
-- Karl Pilkington

#Weed #Universe

I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book
-- Karl Pilkington

#Book #Giving #Half