Norm Crosby famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
-- Norm Crosby

#Funny #Hilarious #Smart
Teenagers don't know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas. They go for a drive and the boy runs out of gas and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn't love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That's love.
-- Norm Crosby

#Girl #Running #Best Love
I was the first spokesperson for the Better Hearing Institute in Washington. And that's the message we tried to send out - there is hearing help out there, and the technology and options are amazing.
-- Norm Crosby

#Technology #Hearing #Messages
Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they can both keep watching the hockey game
-- Norm Crosby

#Hockey #Games #Style
My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.
-- Norm Crosby

#Graduation #School #Tough
I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.
-- Norm Crosby

#Redneck #Thinking #Las Vegas
If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.
-- Norm Crosby

#Hurt #Coffee #Eye
All's fair if you have a really good attorney.
-- Norm Crosby

#Attorney #Fairs #Ifs

In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can't get paid to be smart.
The small businessman is smart; he realizes there's no free lunch. On the other hand, he knows where to go to get a good inexpensive sandwich.
I'm 23 but I got a brain like I'm 32 man, switched the numbers around. Smart kid too, straight-A student, I was just a class clown.

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