Larry David famous quotes

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.
-- Larry David

#Enthusiasm #Curb Your Enthusiasm #Curb

I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
-- Larry David

#Who I Am #Jerk

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
-- Larry David

#Girlfriend #Jobs #Giving

Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
-- Larry David

#Zero #Belief #Changed

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
-- Larry David

#Inspirational #Funny #Men

You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when you get introduced you have to say "Hey,how ya doin'? How are ya?" I couldn't do it. It was false.
-- Larry David

#Hey #Goes On #Requirements

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
-- Larry David

#Funny #Thinking #Good And Bad

I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
-- Larry David

#Bars #Hello #Walks

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
-- Larry David

#People #Sunglasses #Blind

I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
-- Larry David

#Girl #Guy #Waiting

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
-- Larry David

#Running #Flirting #Running Away

I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
-- Larry David

#Drug #Needs

Women love a self-confident bald man.
-- Larry David

#Funny Love #Love You #Men

Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
-- Larry David

#Play #Luck #Lucky

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
-- Larry David

#Mom #Mother #Kids

Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
-- Larry David

#Laughing #Satisfaction #Honest

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
-- Larry David

#Thieves #Want #Neighbor

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.
-- Larry David

#Order #Want #Sometimes

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
-- Larry David

#Art #Succeed #Concerned

My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
-- Larry David

#Helping #Help Me #Drivers

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.
-- Larry David

#Jobs #Taxi #Cab

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
-- Larry David

#Funny #Childhood #Tough

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.
-- Larry David

#Ideas #Space #People

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
-- Larry David

#People #Tolerate

The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.
-- Larry David

#Nuts #Salad #Beneficial

Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?
-- Larry David

#Men #Thinking #America

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
-- Larry David

#Hey #May #Facts

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
-- Larry David

#Umpires #Casual #Walks

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
-- Larry David

#Men #Suffering #Trying

Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.
-- Larry David

#Terrible

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
-- Larry David

#Funny #Kids #Inadequate

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
-- Larry David

#Mean #Comedian #Would Be

I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
-- Larry David

#Firsts