Ilona Andrews famous quotes

First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Details #Body #Firsts

Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Nice #Eye #Men

If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Inspirational #Life #Dream

Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Father #Men #Practice

When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don't even know he's doing it. We never talk about it. We don't go to therapy. He just loves me and that's enough.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Broken #Together #Get Better

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Fall #Kissing #Shoes

When you walk a dog on a short leash, she's close enough to bite you.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Dog #Enough #Walks

I looked at him. "You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or inviting me for tea.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Tea #Needs #Threatening

Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Cat #Order #Prove

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Mom #Kids #Pie

Had he expected me to hump her leg?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Legs #Expected

What do you think?" he asked, his voice deep and commanding. I eyed him. "Impressive, but too much." He leaned toward me, the blue eyes smoky with a promise I was shure he could fulfill. I tried not to think of the bedroom. "Too much?" "Yes. I like the menace. It's very masculine, but he looks like he would screw everything in sight and call me 'wench
-- Ilona Andrews

#Eye #Thinking #Voice

Curran and I mixed about as well as glycerin and nitric acid: put us together, shake a bit, and hit the deck as we exploded.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Together #Acid #Wells

Jack didn’t fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word for word, but he still didn’t comprehend most of it. The best he could gather was that Jesus lived long ago, told people to be nice, and they killed him for it. At the end, he asked who was Jesus’ necromancer and if he was in the Bible, then Kaldar couldn’t stop laughing and had to sit down.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Jesus #Nice #Laughing

And how did your day go?" I asked Ascanio. He turned to me, a dreamy look on his pretty face. "We killed things. There was blood. Fountains of blood. And then we had barbecue.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Blood #Faces #Looks

Tall, with skin the color of rich coffee, and dressed all in black, Jim looked like he was carved from a block of solid muscle. Logic said that at some point he must've been a baby and then a child, but looking at him one was almost convinced that some deity touched the ground with its scepter and proclaimed, "There shall be a badass," and Jim sprung into existence, fully formed, complete with clothes, and ready for action.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Baby #Badass #Children

I split the omelet between the plates and stopped when Curran's arms closed about me. He pulled me against him, pressing my back against his chest. I heard him inhale my scent. His lips grazed my temple. Here we were, alone, in my kitchen, holding each other while breakfast cooled on the table. This was some sort of alternate universe, with a different Kate, who wasn't hunted like a wild animal and who could have these sorts of things. "What's up?" I asked softly. "Just making sure you know you're caught.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Animal #Kitchen #Breakfast

I'm sorry about the dinner." "Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Sorry #People #Vampire

I can make some calls. There is a guy. Dagfinn Heyerdahl. He used to be with Norse Heritage Foundation." Norse Heritage Foundation wasn't so much about heritage as it was about viking, in the most cliché sense of the world. They drank huge quantities of beer, they brawled, and they wore horned helmets despite all historical evidence to the contrary. "Used to be?" Curran asked. "They kicked him out for being drunk and violent." Curran blinked. "The Norse Heritage?" "Mhm." "Don't you have to be drunk and violent just to get in?" he asked. "Just how disorderly did he get?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Beer #Drunk #Guy

Let’s talk.” I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Red #Chairs #Staring

Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Princess #Firsts #Settling

He isn’t so much flirting,” Cerise murmured. “Either he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t know how.” “Of course he likes you. You’re lovely. He probably just doesn’t get it. Some men have to be hit over the head with it. Her aunt rolled her eyes. “I thought I’d have to draw your uncle Jean a giant sign. That or kidnap him and have my evil way with him, until he got the message.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Uncles #Eye #Men

Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?" "You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Creeps

The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges. "What are you doing?" Ghastek asked. "My hole puncher broke." "You have no respect for the undead.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Couple #Vampire #Mouths

Long strands of drool stretched from between his fangs and dripped on the pavement, sending a heady scent of jasmine to swirl through the air. Perfumed monster spit. What was the world coming to?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Air #Long #Scent

Maybe if I prayed to Miss Marple, she’d hook me up with a clue
-- Ilona Andrews

#Missing #Hook #Clue

You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep." "I only did it once." "Once was weird enough, thank you.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Sleep #Lions #Enough

And did you have to hack his arms off?” “Yes, I did. He wouldn’t go through the door.” “You say it like you’re proud of it." I was proud of it. It was an example of quick thinking in a difficult situation.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Thinking #Doors #Example

What do you do to your hair?" "Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil." "Ever thought of patenting the recipe?" "No.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Gun #Hair #Dust

He referred to you as his little snack." "He's a sweetie.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Snacks #Littles

She eats grass. Don’t ask.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Grass

You need a name.” I covered the receiver for a moment. “We need a team name.” “Hunters,” Raphael said. “Valiant Knights of the Fur,” Dali said. “Justice Group,” Jim said. “Since Justice League is taken.” “Fools.” Doolittle shook his head. “Fools,” I said into the receiver.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Team #Taken #Names

You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Light #Fortune #Crew

I have a vamp body for you," Andrea said. "It's in the freezer." I gave her a nice smile. "You shouldn't have.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Nice #Body #Said

A girl half my age swept by and slammed two giant tankard filled with beer on the table. Ragnvald held his up. I smashed my tankard against his. Beer splashed. We raised the tankard and pretended to take much bigger gulps than we did.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Girl #Beer #Two

Why were you in a vehicle with Kate, alone? What were you wearing? What was she wearing? How long were you there? Did you do something or did you talk? What was the nature of your discussion? Could this trip have been avoided?" I rubbed my face. "So basically you're scared that His Lordship might get his panties in a bunch?" "That's one way to put it.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Long #Way #Faces

After I chased the werewolf and the vampire out of my office, I changed my clothes.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Clothes #Office #Vampire

George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forwar, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, 'My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Pain #Rain #Eye

The heavy eyelids snapped open. Jack froze. A huge gold-and-amber eye, as big as a dinner plater, stared at him. The dark pupil shrank, focusing. Jack stood very still. The colossal head turned, the scaled lip only three feet from Jack. The golden eyes gazed at him, wirling with fiery color. Jack breathed in tiny, shallow breaths. Dont blink. Don't blink... Two gusts of wind erutped from the wyvern's nostrils Jack jumped straight up, bounced off the ground into another jump, and scrambled up the nearest tree. In the clearing, Gaston bent over, guffawing like an idiot. 'It's not funny!
-- Ilona Andrews

#Eye #Dark #Color

We were not finished yet, not even close. I could still smell her. I remembered what she felt like. What she tasted like. This wasn’t a casual sexual thing. This was a mating. I would have Kate as my mate. Whatever it took, no matter how long, she would be with me.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Smell #Long #Would Be

In a perfect world, Joshua‟s vertically gifted murderer would‟ve had himself a monologue before rampaging, during which he loudly and clearly would‟ve announced his full name, occupation, religious preference, preferably with his god‟s country and time period of origin, his goals, dreams, and aspirations, and the location of his lair. But nobody had ever accused post-Shift Atlanta of being perfect.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Dream #Country #Religious

You’re like a god from a Greek myth, Saiman. You have no empathy. You have no concept of the world beyond your ego. Wanting something gives you an automatic right to obtain it by whatever means necessary with no regard to the damage it may do. I would be careful if I were you. Friends and objects of deities’ desires dropped like flies. In the end the gods always ended up miserable and alone." — Kate Daniels
-- Ilona Andrews

#Mean #Giving #Empathy

He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Dark #Men #Hair

A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers." "Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?" "No." "She doesn't like poetry?" "Leave it." Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes--
-- Ilona Andrews

#Writing #Autumn #Expression

You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could resist." She snarled. Heh.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Hobos #Spaghetti #Perfume

Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Risk #Trying #Accepting

She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?" He showed her his teeth. "Yes.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Fun #Teeth #Carnage

If you come back to me, I'll never leave you", I whispered into the furry ear. "I'll make you all the pies you could ever eat.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Pie #Ears #Come Back To Me

We should clap or something." Curran said. "She's trying so hard.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Trying #Should #Said

I reached over and squeezed Curran’s hand. “Come on, you, me, a platter of barely seared meat, it will be great. If we see the navigators, we can make fun of the way they hold their forks.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Fun #Hands #Meat

Who is that?” “Your replacement.” “You replaced me with a shaved poodle?” “He's got mad skills.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Skills #Mad #Poodles

Mmmm, Kate, the Chief of Security. Sexy. Who better to guard my body then the woman who owns it?" "Curran, I will punch you.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Sexy #Body #Chiefs

Strawberry Shortcake called, she wants her outfit back
-- Ilona Andrews

#Want #Strawberries

When a lion stalks a herd, he sneaks in close, lies down, and surveys them to choose his victim. He takes his time. The deer or buffalo have no idea he’s near. He finds his prey and then he explodes from his hiding place and grabs it. Even if another, perfectly serviceable animal ends up within his reach, he isn’t going to alter his course. He has chosen, and he would rather go hungry than change his mind.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Lying #Animal #Ideas

Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Crazy #Earthquakes #Tornadoes

There is no such thing as privacy between a deity and his worshipper. There are no secrets, no glossed-over failures. Only promises kept and abandoned, sins committed and imagined, and raw emotion. How many of us are ready to have our lives judged? What would happen if we were found wanting?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Promise #Secret #Deities

The lion has to stay outside" "He won't like it" The lion shook his mane. I looked at Curran. The lion melted. Skin stretched, bones twisted, and human Curran straightened. He was completely nude. Gloriously nude. "Well," Hrefna said. "I always wondered why you went all shapeshifter. Explain things.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Skins #Lions #Bones

The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel's deformed mutant brother.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Brother #Imagination #Vampire

Is there any chance you'd overthrow the tyrannical Beast Lord and his psychotic consort?" "Yeah, I want a vacation." -Kate & Curran to Jim
-- Ilona Andrews

#Vacation #Want #Chance

People think I built the Pack, because I'm the guy who has the welfare of all shapeshifters in mind. They're wrong. Everything I built, I did so that when I mate and have children, nobody can touch my family. (...) I built all this so I can protect you.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Children #Thinking #People

I almost had her." Curran nodded. "I heard. And you could've taken her, too." My voice came out flat. "Rub it in, why don't you." He grinned. "No time for that now, maybe later." I closed my eyes. There wouldn't be any later. "Are you imagining me rubbing it in?" he asked.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Taken #Eye #Voice

You call that evening the odds? You demolished them." Demolished. He liked that. "I left you one." "I noticed." "I promised to share," he told her. "Manners are very important in the Weird. Lying would be quite impolite.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Lying #Odds #Important

The kid was so handsome, he almost looked unreal.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Kids #Handsome #Unreal

Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare. I leaned a little toward Luther. "Is this the part where I faint in fear?" Luther bit his lip. "He might also accept falling to your knees and holding your hands in humble supplication. Makes it easier for him to slap the cuffs on.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Fall #Humble #Hands

I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev." Barabas sighed dramatically. "Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha." "I don't need a lecture. I just need the book." "Much better. Little more growl in the voice?" "Barabas!" "And we're there. Congratulations!
-- Ilona Andrews

#Congratulations #Book #Voice

If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I would not leave you. I’ll be there. Wherever you want‘there’ to be. -Curran to Kate
-- Ilona Andrews

#Hurt #Nice #Love You

It's not a loup cage, you know,' I told her. 'It's a holding cell. Or safe room. or secure room. I don't think Jim ever settled on a term he could live with.' 'Aha. It's a loup cage.' Andrea cleared her throat. 'I touched it with my finger and it hurt. Is that in case of marital problems?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Hurt #Thinking #Cells

We can do subtle," I assured her. "It's our middle name," Andrea added. For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Names #Looks #Odd

Runes, runes, runes... Runes. An inverted Algiz rune. The caption next to it said “Chernobog.” The Black God. Right. Of course, it wouldn’t be Chernobog, God of Morning Dew on the Rose Petals, but a woman could always hope.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Morning #Rose #Black

swore. “Barabas said you might say that. I’m supposed to tell you this.” Ascanio cleared his throat and produced a remarkably accurate impression of Barabas’s tenor. “Courage, Your Majesty.” “I will kill him.” “The Beast Lord or Barabas?” “Both.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Majesty #Might #Beast

You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right?" "Meant every word." A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, "Baby." No. He laughed. "You should see your face right now." "Don't call me that." "Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'?" He winked.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Baby #Eye #Cupcakes

She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Cop #Enough

Peope, especially unhappy people, want a cause. They want something to belong to, to be a part of something great and bigger, and to be led. It's easy to be a cog in a machine: you don't have to think, you have no responsibility. You're just following orders, doing as you're told.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Responsibility #Thinking #Order

Humans tend to segregate the world: enemies on one side, friends on the other. Friends are the people we know. Enemies are the Other. You can do just about anything to the Other. It doesn't matter if this Other is actually guilty of any crimes, because it is a matter of emotion, not logic. You see angry people aren't interested in justice, they just want an excuse to vent their rage.
-- Ilona Andrews

#People #Justice #Enemy

Great, now I’ve turned into a manga character who repeated everything everyone said.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Character #Said

Andrea raised her eyebrows. "Look at you, all high-speed." "Yeah, you'd think I was a detective or something." Andrea held her hand out. "You'll jinx it.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Thinking #Eyebrows #Hands

Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack Jeep I called Hector. Equipped with dual engines, Hector worked during magic or tech. He didn't go very fast, especially during magic, but so far he hadn't stalled on me either. As long as our high-speed chases stayed under forty-five miles an hour, we would be all set.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Long #Magic #Jeeps

Rene, you want us to find you-don't-know-who and to retrieve his you-don't-know-what for you-won't-tell-me-whom?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Want

What is wrong with you? Many, many things.
-- Ilona Andrews

I'm investigating people who sacrifice trained killers to dark gods. Perfect, it will keep him occupied. In what capacity? Bait.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Sacrifice #Dark #People

Put your badass face on and follow me.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Badass #Faces #Follow Me

They're fanatics. It's like expecting humanity from a falling rock. It's not going to have a fit of compassion and not crack your skull open.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Fall #Compassion #Rocks

I can't hate people that much. Don't get me wrong. I want to murder every last Keeper I can find. But that's not hate. That's vengeance.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Hate #People #Want

I would not leave you. I'll be there. Wherever you want 'there' to be.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Want

My ego doesn't need soothing. I don't want him soothing anything of mine, including you.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Ego #Needs #Want

I trusted her about as far as I could throw her. I was strong and she was small, but it still wasn't very far.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Strong #Stills #Trusted

He kissed me, and I pulled my personal psycho into bed with me.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Bed #Psycho

May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Running #Feel Better #Odds

Who snitched?" "We have people monitoring police radio frequencies. They gave Jim a heads-up in case our security had to storm PAD offices and bust you out of there. I found out when I saw Jim walking down the hallway snickering to himself.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Office #People #Police

Aha," Andrea said. "I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Sugar #Said #Andrea

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Air #Ego #Rooms

You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you?" The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. "Sure, do you have one handy?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Needs #Charming #Stomach

Superstitions add texture to life.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Add #Texture #Superstitions

I saved the baby. I saved her. For you." - Bran
-- Ilona Andrews

#Baby

Still think she is worth it?” Mahon asked quietly. “Of course. She is my mate.” Mahon sighed. “So you decided then.” “Do you think we’d be laying here bleeding in the snow if I wasn’t sure?” “Good point.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Thinking #Snow #Bleeding

Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun?
-- Ilona Andrews

#Gun #Mutants #World

Ted said, "You're working for the Order now." "Yes." "How does it feel?" "Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Doctors #Order #Doe

There was something very comforting about him, and I was not sure if it was his easy manner or his complete immunity to my scowling.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Comforting #Easy #Not Sure

Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Dna #Sample

As one, the shapechangers turned and looked at me. I wondered what they'd do if I asked to borrow a cup of sugar.
-- Ilona Andrews

#Sugar #Cups