Roseanne Barr famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Women #Marijuana #Medicine
Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Trying #Half #World
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Inspirational #Being Strong #Strong Women
I'm on the mirror diet. You eat all your food in front of a mirror in the nude. It works pretty good, though some of the fancier restaurants don't go for it.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Mirrors #Restaurants #Diets
Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Ears #Truth Is #Available
Excuse the mess but we live here.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Cleaning #Excuse #Mess
I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Divorce #Upset #Widows
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Inspirational #Jobs #Husband
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Time #Women #Humor
My husband says, 'Roseanne, don't you think we ought to talk about our sexual problems?' Like I'm gonna turn off Wheel of Fortune for that.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Husband #Thinking #Wheels
I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Beer #Feel Better #Smell
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Mom #Mother #Clever
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Birthday #Travel #Humor
It's a big culture of mind control too, MK-Ultra mind control rules in Hollywood. If you don't know that, google it and look into it. It's really hard for artists to find their voice in the media. It's levels of brainwashing and mind control.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Artist #Media #Voice
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Dream #Men #Years
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Funny #Running #Military
Comedy is the only hope for humanity.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Easter #Humanity #Comedy
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Artist #Nerd #Listening
If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Fun #Worry #Dying
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Earth #Problem #Doughnut
Being nuts is its own reward.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Nuts #Rewards
I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Want #Hell #Politician
Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together.
-- Roseanne Barr

#People #Suffering #Together
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
-- Roseanne Barr

#Lonely #Writing #Thinking
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
-- Roseanne Barr

#Funny Inspirational #Children #Anger

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