Carlos Mencia famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Inspirational #Ashamed #Who You Are
When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Ghetto #White #People
When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers
-- Carlos Mencia

#Rapper #White #People
I'm not white, I don't apologize for what my country did to become great
-- Carlos Mencia

#Country #White #Apologizing
If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!
-- Carlos Mencia

#Laughing
Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Song #Stupid #Mean
If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Baby #Laughing #Ifs
America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Country #America #People
I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Taught Us #People #Swim
God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Believe #People #Looks
I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican. You understand that? It doesn't matter what you say. See - you don't understand that, white people, because wherever you go, you're white. You're here, you're white. You go to L. A., you're white. You go to Denver, you're white. You go to Miami, you're still white. In L. A. I'm a Mexican, In Florida, I'm a Cuban. In New York, I'm a Puerto Rican. And when I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.
-- Carlos Mencia

#New York #Florida #California
If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.
-- Carlos Mencia

#People #East #Way
I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.
-- Carlos Mencia

#America #Water #Swim
We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?
-- Carlos Mencia

#Labor Day #Celebrate #Going To Work
I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!
-- Carlos Mencia

#People #Holocaust #Needs
I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Moving #Compassion #People
Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Fun #Racism #Exclusion
Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Father #America #Nebraska
My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Simple #People #Simplicity
Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Aunt #Race #Car
When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Talking #Two #News
If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.
-- Carlos Mencia

#School #Names #Goal
If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Names #People #Community
We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.
-- Carlos Mencia

#Gay #Names #Two
That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!
-- Carlos Mencia

#Sharks #Water #News

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