Brendan Behan famous quotes

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
-- Brendan Behan

#Love #Life #Important

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
-- Brendan Behan

#Drinking #Two #Thirsty

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
-- Brendan Behan

#Funny #Editors #Criticism

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
-- Brendan Behan

#Summer #Winter #Beer

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
-- Brendan Behan

#Life #Absence #Court

I am a drinker with writing problems.
-- Brendan Behan

#Drinking #Writing #Problem

One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.
-- Brendan Behan

#Addiction #Drink #Enough

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
-- Brendan Behan

#Spiritual #New York #Humorous

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
-- Brendan Behan

#Umpires #Judging #Said

They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues...
-- Brendan Behan

#Land #Tongue #Language

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.
-- Brendan Behan

#Drinking #Dry #Canada

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.
-- Brendan Behan

#Respect #Cynical #Wonderful

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
-- Brendan Behan

#Funny #Marriage #Sexy

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
-- Brendan Behan

#War #Situation #Policemen

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
-- Brendan Behan

#Publicity

There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
-- Brendan Behan

#Love You #Like You #One Love

God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.
-- Brendan Behan

#Family #Mother #Men

I'm a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.
-- Brendan Behan

#Dark #Catholic #Communist

I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
-- Brendan Behan

#Writing #Problem #Drinkers

I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't happened. But weddings always make me cry.
-- Brendan Behan

#Thinking #Funny Marriage #Funeral

An author's first duty is to let down his country.
-- Brendan Behan

#Country #Firsts #Let Down

There's no bad publicity except an obituary.
-- Brendan Behan

#Publicity

Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.
-- Brendan Behan

#Together #Helping #Profession

Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
-- Brendan Behan

#Suicide #Determination #Men

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.
-- Brendan Behan

#War #Bombs #Terrorist

Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?
-- Brendan Behan

#Clever #Thinking #Messages

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.
-- Brendan Behan

#Publicity

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
-- Brendan Behan

#Cells #Lovely #Paper

What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
-- Brendan Behan

#Men #Differences #History

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.
-- Brendan Behan

#Sister #Son #Bishops

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
-- Brendan Behan

#Rain #Soup #Forks

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
-- Brendan Behan

#Inspirational #Psychosis #People

To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.
-- Brendan Behan

#Beer #Drunk #Achievement

Every cripple has his own way of walking.
-- Brendan Behan

#Way #Cripples #Walking

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.
-- Brendan Behan

#Wish #Infant

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.
-- Brendan Behan

#People #Envy #Young

No man can discover his own talents.
-- Brendan Behan

#Men #Talent

A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles ... it takes your mind off the cost of living.
-- Brendan Behan

#War #Mind #Cost

A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
-- Brendan Behan

#Hands #Toss #Pedestrians

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
-- Brendan Behan

#Children #Married #Painter

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
-- Brendan Behan

#Deeds #Forget #Poor

You made one mistake. You married me.
-- Brendan Behan

#Mistake #Cynical #Married

The sun was in mind to come out but having a look at the weather it was in lost heart and went back again.
-- Brendan Behan

#Heart #Weather #Mind

The English and Americans dislike only some Irish--the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers--the ones that think.
-- Brendan Behan

#Thinking #Irish Writers #Dislike

He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.
-- Brendan Behan

#Years #England #Born

In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company's time and with its blessing.
-- Brendan Behan

#Marriage #Husband #Blessing

When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.
-- Brendan Behan

#Fighting #Men #Two

I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It'd depend whose life.
-- Brendan Behan

#Imagine #Crime #Capital Punishment

Most horror movies are certainly that.
-- Brendan Behan

#Cinema #Horror

Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
-- Brendan Behan

#Funny #Money #World

If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
-- Brendan Behan

#Accepting #Limitation

I am a daylight atheist.
-- Brendan Behan

#Atheist #Atheism #Daylight

Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
-- Brendan Behan

#Prison #Contempt