Denis Norden famous quotes

04-17-2025

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.
-- Denis Norden

#Baseball #Wife #Fans
The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.
-- Denis Norden

#Song #Comedian #Use
I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.
-- Denis Norden

#Writing #People #Challenges
I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.
-- Denis Norden

#Decision #These Days
Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh.
-- Denis Norden

#Laughing
Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.
-- Denis Norden

#Tuesday #Television #Want
There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.
-- Denis Norden

#Car #Bird #Unseen
It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.
-- Denis Norden

#Children #Memories #Holiday
And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.
-- Denis Norden

#Thinking #Scary #May
If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.
-- Denis Norden

#Laughter #Shows #Malicious
A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten.
-- Denis Norden

#Tenors
What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?
-- Denis Norden

#Cheese #Harps #Pretension

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