Hari Kondabolu famous quotes

03-28-2025

Telling me that Iâ€™m obsessed with talking about racism in America is like telling me Iâ€™m obsessed with swimming when Iâ€™m drowning.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Swimming #Talking #America
I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving - that's just spitting on the graves, isn't it?
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Native American #Funny Thanksgiving #Soy
We've never had a female President in this country, which I find stunning
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Country #President #Female
I am frozen musically somewhere around 2004.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Frozen
Telling me that I’m obsessed with talking about racism in America is like telling me I’m obsessed with swimming when I’m drowning.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Swimming #America #Talking
It's a sick thing, right: people are afraid of public speaking. I do public speaking, except my public speaking involves the audience only having one type of emotion and one type of reaction. If they have anything other than laughter, it's a failure. That's an absurd thing for a human to try to seek. The main thing to realize is that whatever I say, it's my truth and I believe in it, and if I don't get a laugh off that, then it's not working.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Laughter #Believe #People
I like playing with that space between laughter and discomfort where your discomfort can also make you laugh, and you're confused about the mixed feelings. That's challenging, and I think that's what makes for some of the best art.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Art #Laughter #Confused
When you're a person of color in white America, you know white people. You know why you know white people? Because you can't enjoy any kind of entertainment if you are not able to humanize white people. If you watch a film and are like, "Oh, this has white people in it? Then I'm not interested," then you can't enjoy anything in America!
-- Hari Kondabolu

#People #Kind #Film
For years now, people have mentioned my mustache and get disappointed that when they see me live I don't have a mustache.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Years #People #Mustache
People always talk about the content, in terms of the politics of it or whatever social issues are in it, and it's like, "Yeah, but I'm also a good comic." You could at least talk about the form of it, and I feel like that's always the thing that's missed.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Issues #People #Comic
Another stupid thing I believed for a long time was that pizza was supposed to be said peed-za.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Stupid #Long #Said
Just give us 50 years where we're the only ones who are allowed to profit from art, and then you can do whoever you want. In fact, I'll buy you the paint. Whatever you want. Just give us 50 years. 50 years. That's it.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Art #Giving #Paint
I don't look like a lot of fun. I just don't.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Fun #Looks
I don't tie my shoes right. I tie them the way you would tie a gift, like a bow.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Ties #Shoes #Bows
My brother had a mustache, and when my brother had a mustache, it was cool. When I had a mustache, everyone just assumed I'm an immigrant and I don't speak English, which is fascinating. It was a fascinating thing to discover how I looked versus my brother with a mustache.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Brother #Speak English #Mustache
I wrote a lot of poetry in the last two years of high school, all about the same girl I was in love with. That was pretty awful. Did you know that in poetry, every line does not need to rhyme?
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Girl #School #Years
I don't drink before shows.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Drink #Shows
I'd love for someone to ask me about comedic technique and choices.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Choices #Technique #Comedic
I never learned how to tie my shoes, and I was mocked for that. I still don't know how to.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Shoes #Ties #Stills
When I used to wash my hair with a two-for-one shampoo and conditioner, I would wash it twice, which is completely unnecessary, because that's the point - it's one bottle. Because I used to have the shampoo, that's one, conditioner, one. I did the same thing, even though it was two-in-one. I was corrected in my mid-20s by my girlfriend at the time, who laughed at me and said how stupid that was.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Girlfriend #Stupid #Hair
I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Comedian #Able #Crafts
New Zealanders are so chill. I know they say Australians are chill, and I feel like Australians are chill, but I keep thinking, "If they get drunk, they would commit a hate crime." Now that is an extreme position to take, but it's just a feeling I get. New Zealand people, I don't see that.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Hate #Thinking #People
When I go to a bar or a party, I feel like a student invited me to the kegger, and I actually ended up going. And everyone's shocked: "Oh, my god, professor, I didn't know you were actually going to come!" That's me in any circle, really, especially when I hang out with my brother's friends.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Brother #Party #Circles
Who controls the images? Ultimately, we don't control the images. This is the minimum we're allowed to ask for: we don't get to control most of the media. We fight to have some say in the ways we're represented. At the bare minimum, don't insult us in person. That's all we ask! Let us at least be able to function freely in the world.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Fighting #World #Insult
I'm always kind of in my head thinking.
-- Hari Kondabolu

#Thinking #Kind

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