Laurence J. Peter famous quotes

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Believe #Good Luck #Expectations

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Funny #Laughter #Men

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Love #Life #Relationship

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Inspirational #Life #Motivational

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Girl #Mother #Women

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Smart #Taken #Men

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Two #Kind

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Distance #Men #Judging

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Business #Future #Yesterday

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Perfect #Literature #Faults

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Inspirational #Inspiring #Confusion

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Funny #Positive #Witty

A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Ruts #Ends #Graves

A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#True Friend

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Funny #Men #Experts

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Beauty #Truth #Work

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Inspirational #Life #Encouraging

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Country #America #Usa

Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Writing #Reputation

My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Healing #Thinking #Problem

The man who believes he can do it is probably right, and so is the man who believes he can't.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Believe #Men #Belief

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Funny Work #Boss #Levels

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Adventure #Sea #Water

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Parent #Luck #Faults

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Ignorance #Ignorant #Armor

Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Kindness #Boys #Men

Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Inspirational #Dog #Hands

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Intelligent #Tests #Leisure

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Mess #Stills

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Income #Tests #Form

Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in your life. Develop a train of thought on which to ride. The nobility of your life as well as your happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Inspirational #Lying #Real

Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Laughter #Two #Prejudice

A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Men #Helping #Lawyer

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Slumps #Literature #World

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Education #School #Prejudice

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Business #Intelligent #Thinking

They lead only as the carved wooden figurehead leads the ship.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Leadership #Ships #Hospitality

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Inspirational #Light #Leaving

The man who is always waving the flag usually waives what it stands for.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Men #Flags #He Man

It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Wise #Remember #Fooled

The surest sign that you haven't any sense is to argue with one who hasn't.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Arguing

There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Decision #Bad Decision #Stigma

Every man serves a useful purpose: a miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Men #Example #Purpose

Only mediocrities rise to the top in a system that won't tolerate wave making.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Mediocrity #Wave #Tolerate

Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Humility #People #Wonderful

There are two sorts of losers - the good loser, and the one who can't act.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Two #Loser

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Expression #Matter #Facts

When you see yourself quoted in print and you’re sorry you said it, it suddenly becomes a misquotation.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Sorry #Said #Print

As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Land #Greed #Want

Ignorance is the mother of research.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Mother #Ignorance #Research

Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Egypt #Moses #Stills

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Men #People #Democracy

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed king can still goof up.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Country #Kings #Government

I inherited my ability from both parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not earning it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Mother #Money #Father

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Cat #Dark #Men

Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Trying #Assistants #Moral

When a New Yorker looks like he has a suntan, it's probably rust.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Travel #Home #Looks

Middle age is when the best exercise is one of discretion.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Exercise #Age #Judgment

It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Sarcastic #Sarcasm #Men

Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Age #Way #Middle

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Business #Levels #Hierarchy

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Tired #Age #Middle

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Retirement #Fun #Age

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Age #Generations #Middle

A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Ideas #Paper #Cleaning

The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Women #Wife #Caves

He laughs best whose laugh lasts.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Laughing #Lasts #Humour

A free press is one that prints a dictator's speech but doesn't have to.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Speech #Dictator #Print

An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Optimist #Make The Best Of It #Worst

Bore : A fellow who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Topics #Conversation #Faster

. . . if you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Advice #Good Advice

If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Work #Levels #May

You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Feel Good #Advice #Needs

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Work #Men #Opportunity