Jerry Lawler famous quotes

Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Helen #Hart

In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Mean #Reality #Thinking

I've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Years #People #Nine

It's almost like while you are working for the WWF everything is fine and good, but if you are no longer employed by them they want you to just drop off the face of the earth and it's like you never existed.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Earth #Want #Faces

As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Baby #Ugly #Window

I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Artist #Because I Can #Wells

We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to
-- Jerry Lawler

#Sports #Fun #Thinking

We just did a show in Providence, Rhode Island, and we got three puppy shots before we even got on the air, which was great. Although sometimes you get flashed by some puppies that you'd rather not see. They're more like mongrels
-- Jerry Lawler

#Rhode Island #Islands #Air

Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me
-- Jerry Lawler

#Real #Mean #Talking

Judging from what looks like the popularity of this classic wrestling show is that the people like what they have grown to know and love here in Memphis
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #People #Judging

When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock
-- Jerry Lawler

#Moving #Wrestling #Bed

Cena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Titles #Beard

Gyrating J.R., pretty darn good!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe

Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Drunk

Foley looks like an un-made bed.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Funny #Wwe #Bed

What's twelve inches long and hangs in front on ass, Mankind's tie.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Funny #Wwe #Ties

Go back to your bingo hall.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Funny #Wwe #Bingo

ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Funny #Wrestling #Wwe

Ahmed Johnson came from a neighborhood where the most common words heard was, You have the right to remain silent.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Common #Silent #Neighborhood

There's one thing that comes into mind when I see Trish Stratus... MANAGEMENT
-- Jerry Lawler

#Mind #Management

The fats dented the flats.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Funny #Wwe #Fats

I don't think that McMahon thinks very much about the fact that J.R and I have been successful. I don't think that McMahon thinks the wrestling announcers really have that much to contribute the show.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Successful #Thinking

OSHA had come in and looked at the channel 5 studios and it sort of had something to do with wrestling, but they found that there were some safety concerns that had to be addressed.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Safety #Found

I don't know of any wrestler who hasn't, at one time or another, been with a fan. One time I met a woman at a match in Tennessee, and afterward we went to a little roadside motel. We checked in, went to the room, and enjoyed each other for an hour or so.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Fans #Tennessee #Littles

Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Real #Wrestling #Light

Hey Mark Henry, where are your gold medals? We all know that if Mark Henry won a gold medal he'd just take it and have it bronzed.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Gold #Hey

The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Snakes #Might

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Court #Pro Wrestling

This man can make a horror movie without makeup.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Makeup #Men

Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Night #Weather

You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns...if she had two more legs.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Stars #Wrestling #Two

Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Sea #Sick

I don't think it's blowing my own horn to say the show is not as good. There was chemistry there that took years and years to build and now that's gone. The commentary is lacking.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Thinking #Years #Horny

But if I've heard this saying once, I've heard it a thousand times- everything happens for a reason. And possibly it does. I just haven't found the reason that this all happened yet.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Everything Happens For A Reason #Doe #Found

Certainly it's a business and you've got to have a salesman, but in my mind, when you've got two guys doing the same thing, you don't need one of them.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Two #Guy #Mind

Australia was great. I would advise anybody to go there. In fact, if you couldn't live here, Australia would be the place to live. It's the most Americanized country that I've ever seen in the world.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Country #Australia #Would Be

As they say, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Say Anything #World

When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Light #Said #Young

Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Fats

Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Book #Phones #Chinese

Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Kings #Husband #Wife

I've seen a lot of real out-of-line attitudes since I have been in the WWF and those people are still there or are getting a second or third chance or something like that.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Attitude #Real #Second Chance

Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wrestling #Fool #Sunny

Look at the attention the Godfather's getting! Kick my leg, J.R.; kick me in the leg!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Looks #Attention

Can I press one for English?
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe

How could Triple H EVER be mad, how could he EVER have a bad day? How would you like to be married to her?! Wake up in a wonderful mood every morning. I mean, look at that!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Morning #Mean #Bad Day

You lost weight? Look around, you'll find it.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Looks #Weight

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Coma

When John Cena came to Raw, he immediately got off on the wrong foot with Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff said that he thought John Cena was a would be Eminem, and Lord knows one Eminem is enough, but since that time, I have come to respect and really like this kid. This John Cena is a good guy. You can't say anything differently than that.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Kids #Wwe #Feet

Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Thinking #Wwe #Needs

When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"
-- Jerry Lawler

#Mom #Wwe #Faces

When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Cop #Goliath

Is he dancing or having a seizure?
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Dancing

Dolph Ziggler reminds me of Santa; everywhere he goes he brings an old bag with him.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Bags #Santa

Her, Me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Whipped Cream #Cream

Are you ready for some puppies?!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Puppy #Ready

When it comes to Shawn Michaels, there's always a way.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Way #Shawn Michaels

It's not often that you see a smile on the face of the Viper, but it actually looks good on there.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Looks #Faces

Get that strait jacket that Heidenreich had and put it on Lita!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Jackets

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Tic Tacs #Needs

I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Fire #Wwe #Giving

If charisma were rain, Blackman would be a desert.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Rain #Wwe #Would Be

Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe #Feet #Hollies

It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Men #Wwe #World

I'd like to retain Trish Stratus's services.
-- Jerry Lawler

#Wwe

J.R.'s got moves like Jagger!
-- Jerry Lawler

#Moving #Wwe #Jagger