Sam Ewing famous quotes
Last updated: Sep 5, 2024
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Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
-- Sam Ewing -
Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
-- Sam Ewing -
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
-- Sam Ewing -
Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
-- Sam Ewing -
Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
-- Sam Ewing -
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
-- Sam Ewing -
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
-- Sam Ewing -
When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.
-- Sam Ewing -
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
-- Sam Ewing -
As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
-- Sam Ewing -
Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.
-- Sam Ewing -
It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
-- Sam Ewing -
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
-- Sam Ewing -
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
-- Sam Ewing -
The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
-- Sam Ewing -
Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.
-- Sam Ewing -
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
-- Sam Ewing -
If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
-- Sam Ewing -
The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
-- Sam Ewing -
Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
-- Sam Ewing -
Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
-- Sam Ewing -
Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.
-- Sam Ewing -
A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.
-- Sam Ewing -
The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
-- Sam Ewing -
Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.
-- Sam Ewing -
We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
-- Sam Ewing -
On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?
-- Sam Ewing -
Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.
-- Sam Ewing -
Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?
-- Sam Ewing -
Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.
-- Sam Ewing -
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
-- Sam Ewing -
If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.
-- Sam Ewing -
When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.
-- Sam Ewing -
In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
-- Sam Ewing -
"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet now?" "That's because your feet aren't empty," said the doctor.
-- Sam Ewing -
The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.
-- Sam Ewing -
Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
-- Sam Ewing -
President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
-- Sam Ewing -
Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.
-- Sam Ewing -
Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.
-- Sam Ewing -
Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.
-- Sam Ewing -
I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.
-- Sam Ewing -
If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
-- Sam Ewing -
A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.
-- Sam Ewing -
Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
-- Sam Ewing
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