Helen Rowland famous quotes

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
-- Helen Rowland

#Sarcastic #Excitement #Life Is

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
-- Helen Rowland

#Being Happy #Men #Trying

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
-- Helen Rowland

#Marriage #Single #Divorce

Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.
-- Helen Rowland

#Heart #Men #Broken

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
-- Helen Rowland

#Inspirational #Funny #Hilarious

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Heart #Men

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Relationship #Fall

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Strong Women #Heart

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
-- Helen Rowland

#Inspirational #Taken #Flavor

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Marriage #Wedding

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.
-- Helen Rowland

#Beautiful #Men #Inspire

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
-- Helen Rowland

#Funny #Birthday #Marriage

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland

#Funny #Marriage #Sacrifice

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Faults #Literature

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
-- Helen Rowland

#Nature #Memorable #Men

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Kissing #Acceptance

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Wall #Women

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
-- Helen Rowland

#Running #Cat #Men

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
-- Helen Rowland

#Funny #Trust #Husband

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Funny #Marriage

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Teeth #Lasts

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
-- Helen Rowland

#Wise #Wisdom #Sassy

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.
-- Helen Rowland

#Romance #Ends #Honeymoon

Marriage: a souvenir of love.
-- Helen Rowland

#Souvenirs

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
-- Helen Rowland

#Art #Flirty #Flirting

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Relationship #Money

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'
-- Helen Rowland

#Divorce #America #France

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Divorce #Literature

A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
-- Helen Rowland

#Maturity #Men #Halos

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Literature #Good Times

A fool and her money are soon courted.
-- Helen Rowland

#Money #Fool

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
-- Helen Rowland

#Marriage #Spring #Hands

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland

#Life #Hate #Work

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.
-- Helen Rowland

#Food #Men #Apples

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
-- Helen Rowland

#Fathers Day #Dad #Son

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.
-- Helen Rowland

#Jealousy #Jealous #Ties

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
-- Helen Rowland

#Funny #Birthday #Motivation

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love #Art #Bachelors

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
-- Helen Rowland

#Humorous #Men #Sometimes

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
-- Helen Rowland

#Regret #Women #Opportunity

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Eternity

A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Good Man #Good Woman

A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Temptation #Cheerful

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men

Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
-- Helen Rowland

#Love Is #Dinner #Appetite

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.
-- Helen Rowland

#Real #Men #Dollars

Matrimony is the price of love -- divorce, the rebate.
-- Helen Rowland

#Divorce #Matrimony

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
-- Helen Rowland

#Sex #Vanity #Illusion

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Average #Shoes

When perfect frankness comes in at the door love flies out of the window.
-- Helen Rowland

#Doors #Perfect #Window

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.
-- Helen Rowland

#Honeymoon #Sigh

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.
-- Helen Rowland

#Men #Forever #Annoying

Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.
-- Helen Rowland

#Perfect #Solitude #Pleasure