"One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect."

-- Doug Stanhope

#Mean Quotes #Perfect Quotes #Paper Quotes

“The fool,fixed in his folly,may think He can turn the wheel on which he turns.”
“Catch me, Seth," she invited. He paused. "Faeries chase," he said, an then , with a flirtatious smile, he turned away, but before he could take a second step, she was behind him, arms around him, lips pressed against his neck. "I seem caught," he murmured. The Summer Queen whispered, "Me too." And They fell together in a bed of flowers that now covered the floor”
“God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only choice is how.”
“I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer”
“It's never been proven that air toxics are hazardous to people.”
“Usually a family is led through the mom or the dad and their career and for the family to be led by my career, even though God has led it, could be a lot of pressure.”
“Take care with manufactured chemicals, certainly. Your safety and long term health are more important than anything. Yet don't forget that if you grow even a dozen different plants, you are surrounded by chemistry. Inside their cells even the most ordinary plants creates potent fungicides, insecticides, irritants, balms, hallucinogens, sedatives, nerve toxins, cell repair stimulants, lures, repellents... you name it. Treat all plants with respect!”
“People think I'm a freemason, and I'm not. People think I believe the end of the world is coming on 21 December 2012, and I don't.”

You may also like:

Bill Burr
Comedian
Bill Hicks
Comedian
Dave Attell
Comedian
Doug Benson
Comedian
George Carlin
Comedian
Jim Jefferies
Stand-up comedian
Joe Rogan
Stand-up comedian
Louis C. K.
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg
Comedian