"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

-- Rodney Dangerfield

#Funny Quotes #Marriage Quotes #Hilarious Quotes

“It's not the art, it's the heart. What [God] reads during our worship is the inner attitude. Worship is spiritual; it's organic; it's relational.”
“Civilization is the encouragement of differences.”
“We are the inheritors of a million years of striving for the unspeakable.”
“Singing songs like 'The Man I Love' or 'Porgy' is no more work than sitting down and eating Chinese roast duck, and I love roast duck.”
“Most arguments with teenagers are setups. Your darling, simply stated, is manipulating you.”

Source : Kevin Leman (2011). “Have a New Teenager by Friday: From Mouthy and Moody to Respectful and Responsible in 5 Days”, p.135, Baker Books
“By now, the morning sun was just over the horizon and it came at me like a sidearm pitch between the houses of my old neighborhood. I shielded my eyes. This being early October, there were already piles of leaves pushed against the curbâ€”more leaves than I remembered from my autumns hereâ€”andless open space in the sky. I think what you notice most when you havenâ€™t been home in a while is how much the trees have grown around your memories.”
“We should realize that, if [Socrates] demanded that the wisest men should rule, he clearly stressed that he did not mean the learned men; in fact, he was skeptical of all professional learnedness, whether it was that of the philosophers or of the learned men of his own generation, the Sophists. The wisdom he meant was of a different kind. It was simply the realization: how little do I know! Those who did not know this, he taught, knew nothing at all. This is the true scientific spirit.”
“Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.”

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