"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

--

Source : "Mitch All Together". Live album by Mitch Hedberg, December 9, 2003.

Mitch Hedberg

#Funny Quotes #Leadership Quotes #Sarcastic Quotes

“Ancient astronauts didn't build the pyramids. Human beings built the pyramids, because they're clever and they work hard.”
“Hockey is the only place where a guy can go nowadays and watch two white guys fight.”

Source : Frank Deford (1976). “The Owner”, Viking Adult
“I love makin' music, so whether I'ma make money at it or not, I'ma still do it. The thing is, I've gotten to a point where I don't have to use music to make a livin', so I can do it for fun like I used to when I was young.”
“Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.”

Source : The Motto Book (1907)
“Finding solitude in the concrete jungle is powerful and peaceful.”
“Different people have different opinions, and its okay to respect all of them.”
“Those who try to "break on through to the other side" not only cannot predict what they may find there, but are themselves too often broken in the process.”
“You see these actresses who have had Botox or something else done, and it takes you out of the film.”

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