"I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it."

-- Mitch Hedberg

#Funny Quotes #Hilarious Quotes #Witty Quotes

“The moment I've got a ball at my feet, I'm happy.”
“Though I know consciousness kind of boxes you in, it still encompasses the artists that I knew were conscious throughout history of music - they're the ones that you look at as the legends.”
“I want to be an author/director and I'm writing my second book now and I want to make a movie of it, and I hope I get to do this for the rest of my life.”
“It was so much fun to have my very first TV (performance) be the holy grail of comedy, in my opinion. I was the guy from CHiPs and then I was Grizzly Adams. It was hysterical. We got to make out. It was really crazy, fun television.”

Source : Interview with Gregg Shapiro, chicago.gopride.com. June 23, 2016.
“Life is a school, a place for us to learn and grow. We, like Adam and Eve, experience 'growing pains' through the sorrow and contamination of a lone and dreary world. These experiences may include sin, but they also include mistakes, disappointments, and the undeserved pain of adversity. The blessed news of the gospel is that the Atonement of Jesus Christ can purify all the uncleanness and sweeten all the bitterness we taste.”
“The mortality of all inanimate things is terrible to me, but that of books most of all.”
“Had I lived in Palestine, in the days of Jesus of Nazareth, I would have washed his feet, not with my tears, but with my heart's blood!”
“In honor of his new Nobel, this hard-core Dylanophile wants to share with you a song or two from each of his many incarnations. Because you deserve to know.”

Source : Source: www.thedailybeast.com

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