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Jack Handey famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

  • This filthy twentieth century. I hate its guts.

  • All my life I have had a choice of hate and love. I chose love and I am here

  • I love writing, but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, Giftless. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy: I'm a white piece of paper. You wanna dance with me?' and I really, really don't. I'll go peaceable-like.

  • Toby Zeigler: There's literally no one in the world I don't hate right now.

  • I really hate it when I can’t score runs from a ball.

  • Hearts rebuilt from hope resurrect dreams killed by hate.

  • Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!

  • Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.

  • The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

  • When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

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Last updated: Sep 5, 2024