Kevin Nealon famous quotes

Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off!
-- Kevin Nealon

#Strong #Wind #Nyc

I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Kids #Thinking #Years

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Funny #Baby #Laughter

When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Writing #People #Style

Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing.
-- Kevin Nealon

#People #Knack #Disappointing

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Two #People #Red

I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Girl #School #Dating

I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Challenges #Different #Life Is

I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper
-- Kevin Nealon

#School #Bored #Paper

It's tough getting older. You start falling apart, you know? My gums are starting to recede now. You can't tell tonight, though, 'cause I comb them forward.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Fall #Getting Older #Tonight

I like to stuff myself at Thanksgiving, not turkeys.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Thanksgiving #Turkeys #Stuff

I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.
-- Kevin Nealon

#News #Kevin

They say that moving is one of the most stressful things in life. Death in the family is the second most stressful, and moving your dead spouse is the third.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Stress #Moving #Life Death

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
-- Kevin Nealon

#People #Littles #Problem

I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Games #Addiction #Bird

I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Running #Yesterday #One Day

It is unconscionable for children in our prosperous country, or anywhere for that matter, to go without food. I implore everyone to contact their local and state representatives to encourage action to end hunger.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Country #Children #Matter

Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Weakness #Hollywood #Enthusiasm

I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Firsts #Aliens #Film

I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Animal #Vegetarian #Farming

I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version.
-- Kevin Nealon

#New York #Wall #Paper

When a show has been on for so long, you lose fans, you gain fans. I remember this from 'Saturday Night Live.'
-- Kevin Nealon

#Night #Long #Gains

A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
-- Kevin Nealon

#Weed #Jobs #People

I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Fun #Boys #Past

I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Clever #Thinking #Games

When I first began doing TV pilots, my expectations were high. I didn't understand that world. So when 'Weeds' took off, I was so happy. Especially as I was just a guest star in the pilot. But once it got picked up, they made me a regular cast member.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Weed #Stars #Expectations

There's so many vegetarian foods now that are available at the market . The same with drive-throughs. Now, a lot of them serve veggie burgers just like the restaurants are doing. So, it's really very easy.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Burgers #Vegetarian #Easy

Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Funny Marriage #Calm #Neutering

I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Comedian #Actors #Stand Up Comedian

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!
-- Kevin Nealon

#Gold #Come Up #Response

It's kind of fun when you're playing characters that aren't quite on the up and up and people still like you.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Fun #Character #People

When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Long #Together #Hours

I tried to read the Bible, I did, but it always felt like a much less awesome Lord of the Rings.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Christianity #Lord #Rings

I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Sports #Real #Play

I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Eye #Lazy #Lazy Eyes

I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Jobs #Unique #Grew Up

Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Play #Want #Vulture

As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Comedian #Musician #Littles

A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Special #Materials

A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Commitment #Too Much #Messages

Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Workers

The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Thinking #Funny Things #Littles

Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.
-- Kevin Nealon

#Animal #Support #Parent