David Spade famous quotes

03-24-2025

There's always something funny about men chasing women.
-- David Spade

#Men #Chasing
You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.
-- David Spade

#Depressing #Fun #Looks
My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
-- David Spade

#Nerd #Calculators #Retiring
My career is just kind of crazy.
-- David Spade

#Crazy #Careers #Kind
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
-- David Spade

#Making Money #Busboys #Employee
There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.
-- David Spade

#Fun #Entertainment #Shows
I have no detectable hair style.
-- David Spade

#Hair #Style
The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"
-- David Spade

#Girl #Heartache #Hey
To be famous and broke is hard.
-- David Spade

#Broke
I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.
-- David Spade

#Thinking #Car #Chance
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
-- David Spade

#Sitcom
I never dated much in high school or college.
-- David Spade

#School #College #High School
I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
-- David Spade

#Kids #Tv Shows #Tvs
I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
-- David Spade

#Play #Different #Honest
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
-- David Spade

#Smart #School #Quitting
Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.
-- David Spade

#Exotic #Normal
A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant.
-- David Spade

#New York #Drug #Nicole
I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.
-- David Spade

#Overthinking #Feels
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
-- David Spade

#Stories #Want
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.
-- David Spade

#Fighting #Guy #West Coast
It's funny because it's funny.
-- David Spade
It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.
-- David Spade

#Trying #Want #Littles
Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
-- David Spade

#People #Guy #Whispering
Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.
-- David Spade

#Years #Watches #Tvs
Single guys get a bad rap.
-- David Spade

#Rap #Guy #Single Guy
No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.
-- David Spade

#Sleep #Thinking #Alarms
Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
-- David Spade

#Smart #Watches #Want
It's so crazy in Hollywood.
-- David Spade

#Crazy #Hollywood
I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
-- David Spade

#Wells
I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
-- David Spade
I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.
-- David Spade

#Cartoon #Dilbert
It's hard to have a career.
-- David Spade

#Careers

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