Jackie Gleason famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Inspiring #Humor #Second Chance
Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Beautiful #Adorable #People
Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Drinking #Looks #Pimples
If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Thinking
Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Joy #Feelings #Life Is Great
I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Differences #Meetings #Alcoholics
Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Golf #Play #Deer
Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Grief #Golf #Wind
Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Doe #Sense Of Humor
The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Beach #World #Miami
Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Dream #Creativity #Waking
I didn't have things as a child, and I was determined to get them.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Children #Determined
I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Bullets #Week #Made
Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged,
-- Jackie Gleason

#Remember #Forget #Drink
I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Inspirational #Philosophy #Mean
The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Song #Scotch #Glasses
A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Children #Home #Men
One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!
-- Jackie Gleason

#These Days #Pow
The worst thing you can do with money is save it.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Worst
Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Girl #Sarcastic #Passion
Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Husband #Thinking #Wife
The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Sarcastic #Mother #Legs
A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.
-- Jackie Gleason

#People #Challenges #Tough
I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Humility #Use #Talent
Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
-- Jackie Gleason

#Girl #Passion #Fake

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