"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

-- W. C. Fields

#Funny Quotes #Witty Quotes #Humorous Quotes

“Oh, how short are the days! How soon the night overtakes us!”
“Waiting around to be saved is like waiting to die and I have done more of both than anyone else in the room.”

Source : Courtney Summers (2012). “This Is Not a Test”, p.46, Macmillan
“It is brave to be involved”
“I mean, at first, it was kind of disappointing. But people recover from disappointment. Otherwise we'd all be hanging from nooses. Right?”
“And the vision that I had when I decided to come here is all coming true. Through adversity, through everything we've been through, we've been able to persevere ... It's an unbelievable feeling.”
“I just felt like reflecting on my junior year, when I didn't know what I was doing, I left a lot of stuff out there. Actually, I gained close to 700 yards more and I took myself out of a lot of games.”
“Words for mental processes are all derived from physical things.”
“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." I really hate this expression. I bet fish would totally want bicycles.”

You may also like:

Bob Hope
Comedian
Eddie Cantor
Comedian
Edgar Bergen
Actor
George Burns
Comedian
Groucho Marx
Comedian
John Barrymore
Actor
Mae West
Actress
Peter Sellers
Film actor
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian