"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

-- Mitch Hedberg

#Lasts Quotes #Comedy Quotes #Jokes Quotes

“I feel lonely at times, but I don't want to get into a relationship with someone if it is not right. I'm not the type of person who just does things to do them.”
“My present work concerns the problems connected with the theory of elementary particles, the theory of gravitation and cosmology and I shall be glad if I can manage to make some contribution to these important branches of science.”
“The architect should strive continually to simplify; the ensemble of the rooms should then be carefully considered that comfort and utility may go hand in hand with beauty.”
“Hopes are but the dreams of those that wake.”
“I mean, look at us. We're all alone in my bedroom and I'm not feeling any urge to make any kinda move on you. That's a pretty big problem.”
“Here is The Boy with the Thorn in His Side, dying in your world. A man made monster with every human emotion, overdosed on worthlessness in a world that could never wrap itâ€™s head around him (so donâ€™t even try). When itâ€™s all over just remember every single word you ever said was always just a bullet to his head. Bury him underground between friends and love - the only things that are gonna make it to the end with him. Look for his body buried beneath where the yellow weeds are growing and know heâ€™s still living in his nightmares.”
“Books aren't lumps of paper, but minds on shelves.”

Source : Sheridan Hay (2008). “The Secret of Lost Things”, p.6, Anchor
“My life has been a series of emergencies.”

Source : "The Golden Girls of MGM: Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Lana Turner, Judy Garland, Ava Gardner, Grace Kelly and Others". Book by Jane Ellen Wayne, 2003.

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