"The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots."

-- Milton Jones

#Funny Quotes #Jobs Quotes #Humor Quotes

“A mediocre person tells. A good person explains. A superior person demonstrates. A great person inspires others to see for themselves.”
“There's more private security in the United States than there are publicly funded forces, like police. What you don't want is a meld of government and commerce - you really want to keep those two things separate - because once you have that meld, you've got megacorruption, and you have no third force to whom you can say this stuff is poisoning our kids.”
“In fact, evolution became in a sense a scientific religion; almost all scientists have accepted it and many are prepared to "bend" their observations to fit in with it.”
“My dad served in the Air Force as ground crew for several years, and doesn't really talk about it. I know that it's there. I think my main thing about direct or indirect experiences as near to home as it were is the idea of self-sacrifice really.”
“I love you, Louise Downe McCord. You drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, and this is one of those times, but I love you.”
“All the effort went into getting there and then I had nothing left. I thought I'd got somewhere, then I found I had to go on.”
“I didn't know it at the time, but Hitch didn't want to talk to me - he hated meeting with people he might have to reject. As it turned out, someone, maybe his agent, insisted that he interview me.”
“We knew we'd be together, we didn't know when, But long distance love, never thought it would end. The feelings never changed until the call came... You were engaged, I was in pain. It was such a shame: the timing, it just wasn't right. So I say, 'Good luck,' and then I say, 'Good night.'”

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