"I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

-- Mitch Hedberg

#Funny Quotes #Crazy Quotes #Science Quotes

“Victory is the thought transformation resulting from comprehending that physical immortality...perpetual longevity, sans illness and aging...eternal, healthy, youthful life in your living flesh... is not a fantasy, but a practical and attainable possibility.”
“Though I am a Catholic, a professing one, I have serious doubts about the survival of the human personality after death.”
“Why would I want a place of my own? Then I would have to things worry about, like doing laundry and having food in the fridge.”
“Senator McGovern is very sincere when he says that he will try to cut the military budget by 30%. And this is to drive a knife in the heart of Israel... Jews don't like big military budgets. But it is now an interest of the Jews to have a large and powerful military establishment in the United States... American Jews who care about the survival of the state of Israel have to say, no, we don't want to cut the military budget, it is important to keep that military budget big, so that we can defend Israel.”

Source : "Congress Bi-Weekly". Book published by the American Jewish Congress, 1973.
“Imagine there are no men in life,”
“I was originally going to be a lawyer, and the only thing I remember from the art of cross-examination is - you can see this one coming up Sixth Avenue - never ask a question the answer to which you do not know.”
“Why do we have to die to got to heaven? The earth is already in space.”
“Always welcome your customer's scorn. This rule says read the complaint letters. Categorize them. Decide how you are going to wipe them out.”

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