"She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face."

-- Henny Youngman

#Marriage Quotes #Faces Quotes #Comedy Quotes

“It had been a perfect nap - the sort a man runs into now and again by chance.”

Source : Charles Finch (2007). “A Beautiful Blue Death”, p.62, Macmillan
“I regard sex as the central problem of life. And now that the problem of religion has practically been settled, and that the problem of labor has at least been placed on a practical foundation, the question of sexâ€”with the racial questions that rest on itâ€”stands before the coming generations as the chief problem for solution. Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.”
“History is remembered by its art, not its war machines.”
“To me, my Dad's the greatest guy - next to Jesus Christ - who ever walked this planet. He's been that outstanding male role model in my life. And he's still the same guy I grew up around, very conscious of the image he sets forth. As he would say, 'Wouldn't do anything behind your back that I wouldn't do to your face.'”
“The gentle art of gastronomy is a friendly one. It hurdles the language barrier, makes friends among civilized people, and warms the heart.”
“Getting and keeping my immunity became very important to me. For I needed to take care of myself and my family. No one else was worried about me.”
“The hostile multitudes are vast as spaceWhat chance is there that all should be subdued? Let but this angry mind be overthrownAnd every foe is then and there destroyed”
“The first billion is a helluva lot harder.”

Source : T. Boone Pickens @boonepickens, twitter.com. May 31, 2012.

You may also like:

Don Rickles
Comedian
Emo Philips
Entertainer
George Burns
Comedian
George Carlin
Comedian
Milton Berle
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg
Comedian
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian
Sam Kinison
Comedian
Steven Wright
Comedian