"A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."

--

Rodney Dangerfield

#Funny Quotes #Girl Quotes #Home Quotes

“The revolutionary idea that defines the boundary between modern times and the past is the mastery of risk: the notion that the future is more than a whim of the gods and that men and women are not passive before nature.”

Source : Peter L. Bernstein (2012). “Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk”, p.11, John Wiley & Sons
“[Enemies of Syria] are the enemies of the people and the enemies of God. And the enemies of God will go to hell.”

Source : "Al-Assad touts plan for resolution, says enemies of Syria 'will go to hell'". Televised speech, edition.cnn.com. January 17, 2013.
“Let us ask the Lord for this grace: that our hearts become free and filled with light, so that we can rejoice as children of God.”
“The creation of rule is more creative than the destruction of them. Creation demands a higher level of reasoning and draws connections between cause and effect. The best rules are never stable or permanent, but evolve naturally according to context or need.”
“Just my luck,' sighed the endolg. 'Twenty million people in the Realm and I get locked up with a wuss.”

Source : Herbie Brennan (2011). “The Purple Emperor: Faerie Wars II”, p.134, A&C Black
“When I was younger, I never wanted to rehearse because I thought that someone would figure out I don't know what I'm doing.”
“The violence in the Old Testament and New Testament is descriptive. The violence in the Koran is for all time and it is prescriptive. And Mohammed said "I have been made victorious through terror.".”

Source : Source: www.foxnews.com
“I didn't get ahead by sleeping with people. Girls, take heart!”

You may also like:

Andrew Dice Clay
Comedian
Chevy Chase
Comedian
Don Rickles
Comedian
George Carlin
Comedian
Henny Youngman
Comedian
Johnny Carson
Host
Richard Pryor
Comedian
Sam Kinison
Comedian
Ted Knight
Actor