"Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck.""

-- Rodney Dangerfield

#Funny Quotes #Clever Quotes #Smart Quotes

“Federalism isn’t about states’ rights. It’s about dividing power to better protect individual liberty.”
“I refuse to believe in a god who is the primary cause of conflict in the world, preaches racism, sexism, homophobia, and ignorance, and then sends me to hell if I'm 'bad'.”
“If Mozart were around now he would write a killer rock song.”

Source : "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
“My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.”

Source : Adlai E. Stevenson's speech in Detroit, Michigan, October 7, 1952.
“The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with his identity.”
“In marked contrast to the University of Wisconsin, Biochemistry was hardly visible at Stanford in 1945, consisting of only two professors in the chemistry department.”
“I find it [science] analytical, pretentious and superficial-largely because it does not address itself to dreams, chance, laughter, feelings, or paradox-in other words,-all the things I love the most.”

Source : Luis Bunuel (2011). “My Last Breath”, p.158, Random House
“You lose a bit of control every time you insert hesitation into your speech.”

You may also like:

Andrew Dice Clay
Comedian
Chevy Chase
Comedian
Don Rickles
Comedian
George Carlin
Comedian
Henny Youngman
Comedian
Johnny Carson
Host
Richard Pryor
Comedian
Sam Kinison
Comedian
Ted Knight
Actor