"This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!"

-- Russell Howard

#Funny Quotes #Humor Quotes #Blokes Quotes

“In a perfect world, we wouldn't have any nuclear weapons. But it's not a perfect world. In fact, it's a very dangerous world.”
“We have at last glimpsed the surface of the fabled world, Titan, Saturn's largest moon and the greatest single expanse of unexplored territory remaining in the Solar System today,”

Source : "Space probe sees Xanadu on Saturn moon" by Robert Roy Britt, www.cnn.com. May 7, 2004.
“Faith is like love: it does not let itself be forced.”
“Fate is written in the face.”
“I like food way too much to not eat.”
“Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test.”
“I read whatever is put in front of me. I gobble up books.”
“Traveling across the United States, it's easy to see why Americans are often thought of as stupid. At the San Diego Zoo, right near the primate habitats, there's a display featuring half a dozen life-size gorillas made out of bronze. Posted nearby is a sign reading CAUTION: GORILLA STATUES MAY BE HOT. Everywhere you turn, the obvious is being stated. CANNON MAY BE LOUD. MOVING SIDEWALK IS ABOUT TO END. To people who don't run around suing one another, such signs suggest a crippling lack of intelligence.”

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