"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

--

Steven Wright

#Funny Quotes #Laughter Quotes #Humor Quotes

“Creativity comes from accepting that you're not safe, from being absolutely aware, and from letting go of control. It's a matter of seeing everything - even when you want to shut your eyes.”
“I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.”

Source : "Richard Simmons On The Best Advice He Ever Got". The Huffington Post Interview, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 27, 2012.
“I never suffered from the absence of a father. On the contrary, as a child I was more inclined to see men as a disturbing factor. It made things difficult for me when I started working as a director.”
“When two people marry they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband.”

Source : Shana Alexander (1975). “Shana Alexander's State-by-State guide to women's legal rights”
“I don't need to be motivated by anybody. Never have.”
“Also, I think I'd like to see more out-of-state shows, man. As bad as I hate to say this, I'm looking forward to playing for nobody. That's what happens when you're a guy like me and you travel out to Sacramento, California.”
“There's something about sports. You can be setting fire to cats and burying them in your backyard, but as long as you're playing team sports, people think you're okay.”
“I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land--every color, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike--all snored in the same language.”

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