"My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree."

--

Source : "The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America". Book by Lawrence J. Epstein, 2001.

Henny Youngman

#Wife Quotes #Tree Quotes #Coconuts Quotes

“The human voice is the first and most natural musical instrument, also the most emotional.”
“Love is most nearly itself When here and now cease to matter.”
“The Anglo-Saxon farmers had scarce conquered foothold, stronghold, freehold in the Western wilderness before they became sowers of hemp--with remembrance of Virginia, with remembrance of dear ancestral Britain.”

Source : James Lane Allen (2016). “The reign of law. A tale of the Kentucky hemp fields.”, p.2, Aegitas
“The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but thatâ€™s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.”

Source : "Is There a Santa Claus?". The New York Sun, en.wikisource.org. September 21, 1897.
“Life is the journey between darkness of the womb and darkness of the grave.”
“I think, whatever mortals crave, With impotent endeavor, A wreath--a rank--a throne--a grave-- The world goes round forever; I think that life is not too long, And therefore I determine, That many people read a song, Who will not read a sermon.”

Source : Winthrop Mackworth Praed (1854). “The Poetical Works of Winthrop Mackworth Praed”, p.264
“The greatest threat to mankind and civilization is the spread of the totalitarian philosophy. Its best ally is not the devotion of its followers but the confusion of its enemies. To fight it, we must understand it.”
“Most of the offers I get from Hollywood are for teen comedies. My manager thinks I'm crazy for turning down all that money, but I'm very picky.”

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