Gary Chapman famous quotes

People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
-- Gary Chapman

#Emotional #People #Criticism

Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.
-- Gary Chapman

#Positivity #Past #Different

What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at the same time seeking to reciprocate. To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality. Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.
-- Gary Chapman

#Appreciation #Emotional #Personality

Lack of love from parents often motivates their children to go searching for love in other relationships. This search is often misguided and leads to further disappointment.
-- Gary Chapman

#Children #Disappointment #Parent

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
-- Gary Chapman

#Divorce #Skills #People

Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with what you have. Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both. Position and money can be squandered or abused, but they can also be used to help others.
-- Gary Chapman

#Helping Others #Impact #Use

Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.
-- Gary Chapman

#Real #Love Is #Emotional

Respect begins with this attitude: "I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities and emotions. Therefore I respect you as a person. I will not desecrate your worth by making critical remarks about your intellect, your judgment or your logic. I will seek to understand you and grant you the freedom to think differently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may not experience." Respect means that you give the other person the freedom to be an individual.
-- Gary Chapman

#Attitude #Mean #Thinking

For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.
-- Gary Chapman

#Sea #Mountain #Unbearable

The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful. In fact, many couples give far more attention to making plans for the wedding than making plans for marriage. The wedding festivities last only a few hours, while the marriage, we hope, will last for a lifetime
-- Gary Chapman

#Couple #Successful #Impact

Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. (1 Cor 13:5)
-- Gary Chapman

#Past #Score

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.
-- Gary Chapman

#Wish #Desire #Want

We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.
-- Gary Chapman

#Forget #Problem #Projects

True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course.
-- Gary Chapman

#Running

All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.
-- Gary Chapman

#Feels

Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank
-- Gary Chapman

#Children #Emotional #Waiting

Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.
-- Gary Chapman

#Forgiveness #Love Is

Love is a choice you make everyday.
-- Gary Chapman

#Positivity #Love Is #Choices

Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.
-- Gary Chapman

#Running #Children #Long

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.
-- Gary Chapman

#Encouragement #Believe #Giving

I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.
-- Gary Chapman

#Real #Acceptance #Thinking

What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.
-- Gary Chapman

#Before Marriage

The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.
-- Gary Chapman

#Perfect #Beloved #Persons

Love makes requests, not demands.
-- Gary Chapman

#Demand #Request

Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.
-- Gary Chapman

#Hurt #Heart #Listening

Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.
-- Gary Chapman

#Goal #Wife #Advice

Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
-- Gary Chapman

#Commitment #Emotional #Wish

Physician Albert Scheweitzer said. " We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." Professor Leo Buscaglia notes, "There seems to be accumulating evidence that there is actually an inborn need for this togetherness, this human interaction, this love. It seems that without these close ties with other human beings, a new born infant, for example, can regress developmentally, lose consciousness, fall into idiocy and die.
-- Gary Chapman

#Loneliness #Fall #Ties

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.
-- Gary Chapman

#Yesterday #New Day #Individual

The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.
-- Gary Chapman

#Giving #Focus #Growth

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.
-- Gary Chapman

#Commitment #Positivity #Feelings

Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.
-- Gary Chapman

#Punishment #Isolation #Cry

We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.
-- Gary Chapman

#Reality #Our World #Human Nature

Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning.
-- Gary Chapman

#Block #Love Is #Impact

Another reality about relationships is that they are never static. All of us experience changes in relationships but a few stop to analyse why a relationship gets better or worse.
-- Gary Chapman

#Reality #Get Better #Static

You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
-- Gary Chapman

#Love You #Expression #Decision

Gifts need not be expensive; after all, "it's the thuoght that counts." But I remind you, it is not the thought left in your head that counts; it is the gift that came out of the thought that communicates emotional love.
-- Gary Chapman

#Emotional #Needs #Emotional Love

Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.
-- Gary Chapman

#Cake #Four #Sprinkles

Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. We may be in the presence of people all day long, but we do not always feel connected.
-- Gary Chapman

#Long #People #Giving

Sex is the joining of two bodies; love is the joining of two souls.
-- Gary Chapman

#Love #Sex #Two

A child may be "spoiled" by a lack of training or by inappropriate love that gives or trains incorrectly.
-- Gary Chapman

#Children #Giving #Training

Conflicts are not a sign you've married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.
-- Gary Chapman

#Love #Marriage #Married

I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.
-- Gary Chapman

#Father #Expression #Forgiving

..there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.
-- Gary Chapman

#Past #Needs #Being Human

I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.
-- Gary Chapman

#Thinking #Self #World

Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with its openness, hope, and anticipation. On still other occasions we bask in the warmth of summer--comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension. The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature.
-- Gary Chapman

#Summer #Moving #Fall

Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.
-- Gary Chapman

#Average #Ideas #Research