Sheldon B. Kopp famous quotes

That is one of the reasons why a man should pick a path with heart, so that he can find his laughter.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Laughter #Heart #Men

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Fear #Insecurity #Misery

In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Inspirational #Motivational #Running

Often things are as bad as they seem.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Domestic Violence #Violence

You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Responsibility #Faces #Needs

I've never began any important venture for which I felt adequate prepared
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Important #Venture #Adequate

And so, it is not astonishing that, though the patient enters therapy insisting that he wants to change, more often than not, what he really wants is to remain the same and to get the therapist to make him feel better. (4)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Feel Better #Want #Patient

You can't make anyone love you. You just have to reveal who you are and take your chances. (105)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Love You #Chance #One Love

If I reveal myself without worrying about how others will respond, then some will care, though others may not. But who can love me, if no one knows me? I must risk it, or live alone.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Worry #Risk #Care

He may only get to keep that which he is willing to let go of.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Letting Go #May #Willing

The continuing struggle was once described in the following metaphor by a patient who had successfully completed a long course of psychotherapy: 'I came to therapy hoping to receive butter for the bread of life. Instead, at the end, I emerged with a pail of sour milk, a churn, and instructions on how to use them.' (138)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Struggle #Long #Use

The only times that we can have what we long for are those moments when we stop grasping for it. At such times, all things are possible: "to a mind that is 'still' the whole universe surrenders".
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Long #Meditation #Mind

It has been a long time since I believed in Reality. I prefer the loveliness and the terror of my subjective experiences to those coldly scientific explanations which in the long run turn out to be no more real, and far less fun, than my own fantasies and musings.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Running #Fun #Real

Maintaining the illusion that I am in control is futile, lonely, and in the long run more always costly than the effort is worth.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Running #Lonely #Long

We must learn to give ourselves permission to blunder, to fail, and to make fools of ourselves every day for the rest of our lives. We do so in any case.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Giving #Fool #Failing

One can choose life, or choose death. Having chosen life, I must live it as it is.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Chosen

To live without the creative potential of our own destructiveness is to be a cardboard angel.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Angel #Creative

Escape is not a dirty word. None of us can face what's happening head-on all of the time.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Dirty #Faces

Love is more than simply being open to experiencing the anguish of another person's suffering. It is the willingness to live with the helpless knowing that we can do nothing to save the other from his pain. (23)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Pain #Love Is #Knowing

I remember a group therapy session when one of the patients was reluctantly turning his corner. He would accept it, he said, but he wouldn't like the idea of having to solve problems every day for the rest of his life. My co-therapist told him that it was not required that he like it. She shared her own displeasure, saying: 'I remember that when I first discovered what life was like, I was furious. I guess I'm still kind of mad sometimes.' (135)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Ideas #Mad #Groups

So it is that there is nothing to be taught, but yet there is something to be learned.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Taught

For each of us, the only hope resides in his own efforts, in completing his own story, not in the other's interpretation. (63)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Effort #Stories #Interpretation

It is not possible to know how much is just enough, until we have experienced how much is more than enough. (64)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Enough

When a patient says he feels stuck and confused, and through good intentions he struggles to become loose and clear, he only remains chronically trapped in the mire of his own stubbornness. If instead he will go with where he is, only then is there hope. If he will let himself get deeply into the experience of being stuck, only then will he reclaim that part of himself that is holding him. Only if he will give up trying to control his thinking, and let himself sink into his confusion, only then will things become clear. (64)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Giving Up #Confused #Struggle

There appear to be many people who chose to go crazy (or become alcoholics, addicts, criminals, suicides) rather than have to bear the pain and ambiguity of a life situation that they have decided that they cannot stand. (98)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Suicide #Pain #Crazy

We all live in a tragicomic situation, a life that is in part absurd simply because it is not of our own making. We are born into a disordered world, into a family we did not choose, into circumstances we would have had somewhat improved, and we are even called by a name we did not select. (40)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Names #World #Absurd

Anarchy could never get a man to the moon, but it may the only mode that can allow us to survive on earth.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Men #Moon #May

Sometimes life seems like a poorly designed cage within which man has been sentenced to be free.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Men #Cages #Sometimes

But after a while, she began to experience the new reality of each person as being as strong and as weak as anyone else. Slowly, she learned that each of us grown-ups has as much and as little power as the other, and that we had best learn to take care of ourselves.(83)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Strong #Reality #Care

So it is that God tugs at a pilgrim's sleeve telling him to remember that he is only human. He must be his own man, remain in exile, and belong to himself. He must pay attention to his own feelings and to the meaning of what he does, if he is to be for himself, and yet for others as well.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Men #Feelings #Doe

All of the truly important battles are waged within the self. (7)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Courage #Self #Battle

Everything good is costly, and the development of the personality is one of the most costly of all things. It will cost you your innocence, your illusions, your certainty. (10)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Personality #Cost #Development

You win some, you lose some, and your losses are never made up to you. She will simply have to do without; like it or not, she must face her losses and her helplessness to undo them.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Loss #Winning #Faces

The unlived life isn't worth examining.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

Transformations require that we let go of familiar ways of doing things, without yet knowing what we will do next.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Letting Go #Knowing #Way

If outrageous imagination is the wine of madness, then come fill my cup.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Wine #Imagination #Cups

The adult May fly lives only a few hours, just long enough to mate. He has neither mouth nor stomach, but needs neither since he does not live long enough to need to eat. The eggs the May fly leaves hatch after the parent has died. What is it all about. What's the point? There is no point. That's just the way it is. It is neither good nor bad. Life is mainly simply inevitable. (41)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Eggs #Long #Parent

Each person's only hope for improving his lot rests on recognizing the true nature of his or her basic personality, surrendering to it, and becoming who he or she really is.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Knowing Who You Are #Personality #Becoming

If I am transparent enough to myself, then I can become less afraid of those hidden selves that my transparency may reveal to others. If I reveal myself without worrying about how others will respond, then some will care, though others may not. But who can love me, if no one knows me? I must risk it, or live alone. It is enough that I must die alone. I am determined to let down my walls, whatever the risks, if it means that I may have whatever is there for me.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Wall #Mean #Self

Sometimes it seems to me that in this absurdly random life there is some inherent justice in the outcome of personal relationships. In the long run, we get no more than we have been willing to give.
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Running #Giving #Justice

The therapist can interpret, advise, provide the emotional acceptance and support that nurtures personal growth, and above all, he can listen. I do not mean that he can simply hear the other, but that he will listen actively and purposefully, responding with the instrument of his trade, that is, with the personal vulnerability of his own trembling self. This listening is that which will facilitate the patient's telling of his tale, the telling that can set him free. (5)
-- Sheldon B. Kopp

#Mean #Acceptance #Emotional