Roy Blount, Jr. famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

A good heavy book holds you down. It's an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Book #Anchors #Funny Drinking
It's my belief that sanity lies in realizing that reality is not exactly what we had in mind.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Lying #Reality #Mind
Obama's the most thoughtful-sounding president I can remember. He seems to be saying what he wants to say, and that is a great relief. He always sounds like he's thinking about what he's saying while he's saying it, and that's a rare thing in politicians.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Thoughtful #Thinking #President
English is an outrageous tangle of those derivations and other multifarious linguistic influences, from Yiddish to Shoshone, which has grown up around a gnarly core of chewy, clangorous yawps derived from ancestors who painted themselves blue to frighten their enemies.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Blue #Gnarly #Enemy
The North isn't a place. It's just a direction out of the South.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#South
I do not Twitter. I don't want to Twitter, and I don't see any point in Twittering. The last thing I want to do is tell people what I'm doing at the moment because I'm probably not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#People #Want #Lasts
Any given generation gives the next generation advice that the given generation should have been given by the previous generation but now it's too late.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Should Have #Giving #Advice
Certainly people have said a lot of deeply unfortunate and stupid things in Southern accents, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the accent itself.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Stupid #Mean #People
Going to Vanderbilt did a lot of things for me, and one of the things it cured me of was the need to follow college football.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Football #College #Needs
A picture's worth a thousand words? A library card's worth millions.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Library #Cards #Thousand
In the beginning, Atlanta was without form, and void; and it still is.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Atlanta #Void #Form
Even intellectuals should have learned by now that objective rationality is not the default position of the human mind, much less the bedrock of human affairs.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Should Have #Mind #Affair
Many a person has been saved from summer alcoholism, not to mention hypertoxicity, by Dostoyevsky.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Summer #Dostoyevsky #Alcoholism
Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Food #Pigs #Cooking
Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Sleep #School #Sacrifice
Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Home #Cat #Animal
A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat's eyes don't even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog's eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, "What do you want me to do for you? I'll do anything for you." Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don't have sheep (I never have) is another matter. The dog is willing.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Dog #Cat #Eye
The legendary yet factual Curtis Wilkie has been the right man in the right place at an uncanny number of extraordinary times.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Men #Numbers #Legendary
I do not know what the cat can have eaten. Usually I know exactly what the cat has eaten. Not only have I fed it to the cat, at the cat's insistence, but the cat has thrown it up on the rug, and someone has tracked it all over onto the other rug. I do not know why cats are such habitual vomiters. They do not seem to enjoy it, judging by the sounds they make while they are doing it. It's their nature. A dog is going to bark. A cat is going to vomit.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Dog #Nature #Cat
Mozart combined high formality and playfulness that delights as no other composition in any other medium does.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Doe #Delight #Mediums
The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Library #Pants #Firsts
Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Drinking #Learning #Hygiene
I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Oysters #Way #Died
The local groceries are all out of broccoli, loccoli.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

#Groceries #Broccoli #Locals

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