Morey Amsterdam famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo? Why did you say 'Moo'?" The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign language."
-- Morey Amsterdam

#Funny #Dog #Two
According to the statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellow is, but I know where to find him.
-- Morey Amsterdam

#Men #Twenties #Statistics
A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
-- Morey Amsterdam

#Order #Restaurants #Walks
People who live in glasshouses might as well answer the door
-- Morey Amsterdam

#Sassy #Doors #People
Our Congress is the finest body of men money can buy.
-- Morey Amsterdam

#Men #Body #Finest
Even the police have an unlisted number.
-- Morey Amsterdam

#Numbers #Police

Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
I don't know how I'm gonna pick up a bat again. I just need to be away for a bit and play with my dogs.
I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
[I]n communism, you'd threaten a dog into compliance, while in capitalism, obedience is obtained through bribes.
I'm pretty obsessive-compulsive and I'm very fast. I tend to not write for a long period of time until I can't not write, and then I write first drafts in gallops. I won't eat right. I forget to do my laundry. I have a dog now, and I have to remember to walk him. When I write, that takes over and I can't do anything else. There's something exciting about that free fall, but then my life gets really screwed up. I've lost lots of relationships because of my having to ignore everything.
It seems increasingly dogs are attacking humans in response to their slavery... AND, wildlife in captivity are also attacking their enslavers AND the public... Their messages are loud and clear: LET US OUT AND LEAVE US ALONE!!!
But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.
In the middle of nowhere, along a quiet stretch of road, the diner dreamt of the hungry dead. And of two men.
Eagleton has spent his life inside two mental boxes, Catholicism and Marxism, of both of which he is a severe internal criticâ€”that is, he frequently kicks and scratches at the inside of the boxes, but does not leave them. Neither are ideologies that loosen their grip easily, and people who need the security of adherence to a big dominating ideology, however much they kick and scratch but without daring to leave go, hold on to it every bit as tightly as it holds onto them. The result is of course strangulation, but alas not mutual strangulation: the ideology always wins.

Morey Amsterdam famous quotes

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