"A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."

--

George Carlin

#Funny Quotes #Sarcastic Quotes #Witty Quotes

“The Bible, which ranges over a period of four thousand years, records but one instance of a death-bed conversion (the thief on the cross) - one that none may despair, and but one that none may presume.”
“We are at war to liberate Iraq, to protect the people of the United States and other countries from the devastating impact of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction being used by terrorists or the Iraqi government to kill thousands of innocent civilians.”
“I don't think Auden liked my poetry very much, he's very Anglican.”
“A formally recognized equality does, however, accord the smaller nations a position which they should be able to use increasingly in the interest of humanity as a whole and in the service of the ideal”
“Africa is like a child that immediately cries for its babysitter when something goes wrong. Africa should stand on its own two feet.”

Source : Source: www.spiegel.de
“I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!”
“... by then I was getting a little work, doing some playing and getting paid for it, not very much, but enough for me to feel justified in buying a real instrument. I bought a Gretsch with a De-Armond pickup on it and a second-hand Gibson amplifier; it looked like the one Charlie Christian used. I guess it was the same, although there were several models coming out at that time - this would be in I939.”
“Start as early as you can. Make tapes of your characters.”

Source : "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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