"I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me."

-- Mitch Hedberg

#Way Quotes #Saws Quotes #Comedy Quotes

“Learn to say, â€œI donâ€™t know the answer.â€ It could be the beginning of a very good dayâ€™s rehearsal.”
“I never can see why they make such a fuss and get so frightened because wimmen does a thing or two now they usedn't to. Nothing short of a earthquake can make them not men an' wimmmen, an' that's the main thing.”
“There is a fantasy in Redmond that Microsoft products are innovative, but this is based entirely on a peculiar confusion of the words "innovative" and "successful." Microsoft products are successful - they make a lot of money - but that doesn't make them innovative, or even particularly good.”
“Investing now in safe-guarding people by helping them to adapt to climate change, will help save money and lives while building resilience.”
“Increasing pressure on students to subject themselves to ever more tests, whittling themselves down to rows and rows of tight black integers upon a transcript, all ready to goose-step straight into a computer.”
“I love mysteries on television â€“ the more psychologically complex the better.”
“I usually give a book 40 pages. If it doesn't grab me by then, adios. With young adult books, you can usually tell by Page 4 if it's worth the time. The author establishes the conflict early, sometimes in the first sentence. The themes of hope, family, friendship and overcoming hardship appeal to most everyone.”
“Because I know what it feels like to be used, valued only for what you can do... not who you are, not who you want to be.”

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