"No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?""

-- Eddie Izzard

#Funny Quotes #Makeup Quotes #Men Quotes

“The bow cannot always stand bent, nor can human frailty subsist without some lawful recreation.”
“To overcome negative emotions, consulting intuition is always useful. How can it guide you. During nervous periods, it offers a more centered alternative to agitation. Intuition is a neutral from of information that allows you to soberly gauge the validity of your worries. If you tune in and find out they're unfounded, you'll be relieved. If they are founded, you can develop a strategy to deal with them.”
“For me, it was a wonderful surprise because I saw wonderful actors being very professional working in front of me [on Chicken with Plums]. I finally understood what an actor is and what an actor does. On a daily basis, it's a bit repetitive.”
“We didn't have television in those days, and many people didn't even have radios. My mother would read aloud to my father and me in the evening.”
“To save my son, I would plot with the devil himself.”
“The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!”
“Most of the federal government could be shut down.”
“Painters aren't expected to paint bleak pictures, are they?”

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